So excited to destroy it

There is something that I am so excited to destroy and turn into something I can wear every day and put it to good use. It’s this pendant I was given when I was younger and when I never wore jewelry. It basically is the personification of how little they know about me to give me it. It’s like when I was a girl and I was given this special Barbie doll and I hated Barbie with a passion and couldn’t understand it. I basically took off their clothes and then tossed them to the side. I know, I was a strange kid, I’m still a very odd person to this day but I saw no use for them.

I couldn’t make-believe with them. They weren’t me, they had make-up, and perfect hair, and perfect bodies, and nothing that even in the least made sense to me or spoke to me. I loved plastic horses, and could spend hours pretending they were in a racetrack and taking each horse one by one and inching them up for hours. In my head it was this amazing race like what I read in books, they were neck to neck, and suddenly my special one in the back comes up to the front of the pack and takes it by a nose!

It didn’t matter to me that the breed of horse I wanted to win would never win a race against the other Thoroughbreds and faster horses. Somehow the gaited horse always won, and when I finally received real jumps to jump my horses with I was over the moon with the gift. I tried to make my own horse blankets with no success and loved any kind of accessories I could get my hands on. I was an unusual child who loved to get dirty, would play with rocks for hours, always had her hair up in a ponytail, and I loved insects so much that I would put them in a bug case and stare at them at night studying their behaviors.

The piece of jewelry was like that girly doll I was given years ago and I would never wear it. So, when I went into the jeweler’s place today with the fiancée and I had it in my hand I couldn’t be more excited for them to destroy it. I’ve had in my mind for a while to remake it into something I loved. And, luckily, they were more than happy to accommodate me. The diamonds will be taken out and put into my wedding band so I can wear it every day and use it in a better way. I even got to kill two birds with one stone by finding a ring the fiancée likes and getting him a wedding band. As I’ve said before, he’s pretty funny and wants a ring with some ‘bling.’ He wants something unique and non-traditional, I just hope they will be able to get that ring for him because they said there were ordering problems when they tried to order it.

I can’t wait to get married to my hubby-to-be. I’m just anxious about what he wants me to inscribe inside of his ring. He wants it to be special and be a secret until we get our rings on our wedding date. He’s already knows what he wants to inscribe on my wedding band (of course) and I can’t think of what it should say. I feel like a lot of pressure is on me to put the right thing inside of it so when he looks inside of his ring it can always make him smile.

And … I just don’t know what that thing is. I can write well but I don’t know what I can say with the small amount a ring gives you inside of it. I want it to be special and for it to be ‘us’, but my mind is blank and I want to much for it to be just perfect.