Can I just…? No!

I will admit it, yesterday was a rather rough day. Besides not meeting my retail goal, not selling to a single client the past two days, being completely booked, having someone steal a client from me to sell them retail (happens more often than you think) I was feeling like getting the hell out of there. I was at my limit, feeling worn, torn, under appreciated, and ready to run to my ‘weekend’ without working.

Then, it happens … I’m cleaning up, minding my own business, shutting things down, when I hear a voice.

First off, I thought I was alone, so lucky thing I wasn’t singing, or cursing at the sky, or anything like that. I turn around and see one of the front desk girls poking her head in my room. I’m not going to lie, she’s off the clock, on her day off, and my eyebrows probably raised and then turned into a scowl after she asked her question.

“Oh, wow, look at you, you’re open, you’re never open. I was just wondering, you know, if you had a minute, you could do like a 10 minute chair massage on me?” 

 Huh, hmmmm, I didn’t even think of my response. I just blurted it straight out, with eyebrows well-knit together in a what-the-hell-are-you-thinking look that said I am so done with this day! I basically said back to her what came to mind,

My shift was over like 50 minutes ago and I’m only here because I’m cleaning up, and then heading home. No, I’m sorry, I can’t do your chair massage because I’m over my shift.”

I don’t think she expected to be turned down, I don’t think she’d have it in me to do it. Yeah, I do, especially with a day where your mother comes in to get her hair done and says basically you are the worst daughter ever. Complains to everyone with an open ear how she just never massages you, and even though she does when you don’t tick her off, you don’t say anything good about her. You mainly complain about how she puts restrictions on what you say (Don’t talk about the man traveling, us moving, anything to do with him whatsoever) and later on tries to guilt you even further with the girl who is throwing your bachlorette party.

My mom tells me health issues with my friend who is throwing it and I don’t know how to react it. I know she’s pregnant, and her health isn’t the best, but she was the one who came to me to say her and a friend of mine are doing it. And my mother asked her if she still wanted to do the party, which she has asked many, many times to me.

If she didn’t want to do the party she wouldn’t offer. I’m done talking about it and if they want to do it, that’s fine, if they want to back out, that’s fine too. I didn’t ask for a party. I never once said to anyone, hey, why don’t you throw me a party? I don’t like anyone doing anything for me because I never want to owe that person a favor. Either way I’m getting baby gifts for my one friend and I bugged her to post an online registry because I need to get her gifts before I have to move. I’d rather do things for the people I care about just because I feel like it.

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I don’t even have to say, “Boo!”

Just imagine me waiting to spook you from behind this...

We have this running gag between me and the girls. We really do like to scare each other back there and most of the time when I do scare one of my favorite girls it’s actually not on purpose.

I have the quietest shoes ever.

One of my favorite things is to scare the new girls we just hired by either A) sneaking up behind them B) dancing behind them or the never fails tactic of C) just being myself. It is a right of initiation for every newly hired employee to be put through my weirdness and hope to survive at the end of the day. My favorite is dancing behind them, which many a person has pleaded to me, “Sarah! Stop it, you are scaring the poor girl!” Come on, my mad dance moves are many things, but scary in not one of them.

The spa can be a lot of fun. We always creep up on each other, or throw ourselves out at the perfect moment to run into someone, or just lay down on the floor and wait for you to look down and be creeped out because you had no clue anyone was in your room. I believe our domain of the Salon is incredibly humorous since we take advantage of the low lighting and weird music.

Plus, lack of clients back there sometimes helps. And the fact that we have rooms and can close the door or have some privacy to scare properly.

There are two estheticians, both are my favorites at the Spa, who continually try to up the ante on scaring each other. There was a perfect example today where one of them went into the other’s room to steal some laundry and she kept on calling out, “Hey! I know you are hiding, come on out! You aren’t scaring me this time!” I finally ended up telling her that she need not be paranoid, the other girl was up at the front and was not lying there waiting for the perfect moment to grab her leg.

Leave your issues at home

There are some people who do not know how a spa/relaxation area/retreat for 1-1 1/2 hours works. Here is a nice little list of pet peeves of mine, though I could come up with so many more. In the end, there aren’t too many things that actually bug me when I massage, the main one which kind of gets to me is twitching/adjusting yourself the entire time. I can feel when someone isn’t relaxing and I find it harder to relax myself, and if I relax during a massage it’s easier on my body to do it.

Please don’t twitch/adjust yourself for the whole hour

I don’t know what’s going on with you. I don’t know if it’s an inability for you to relax, you’re not happy with me, or just that you’re getting so congested that you can’t breathe and this is driving you nuts… I mainly just go back to it being me. I can feel when you aren’t relaxed. I can feel when you’re just there thinking about your day vs. you actually taking this time to let go, breathe, and really reboot yourself for the first time in 6 months, a year, ect.

Please, PLEASE do not bring your phone/planner into my room

It’s bad enough someone brings their cell phone/planner into my room, it’s even worse when I’m massaging them and they answer it. This is the time to relax, Joe, Jane, Shane, can wait to talk to you for an hour or an hour and a half. Don’t worry, the world will not self implode if you do not check out your facebook status or return that text message… I promise.

Don’t wear that hard to take off jewlery when you know you’re getting a massage

You know you’re getting a massage so why would you have that tinsy, tiny clasp necklace on that you know you can’t get off by yourself and I’m not going to stand there and not help you as you fumble and screw with it. FYI- after a massage is also even worse to try and put these things on, I’m surprised I can. Just leave it at home.

Please don’t moan the entire time

Nothing quite gets me moments from laughing out loud or just plain being creeped out than having a moaner. They just won’t stop the entire massage and one of my first massages on a guy was that he was a moaner. I was super creeped out and massaged him from a distance straining my back since I wanted to keep space between us and I prayed for it to be over with. If you keep it going the entire time nowadays I’ll probably just start laughing.

Looking at me is unnecessary and creepy during the massage

There is a reason why I have a little eye pillow to cover your eyes when you flip over face up. I cannot stand people watching me massage, and you hate to look at them as they look at you, because there’s that awkward moment of, “umm, well, maybe you should just close your eyes/look away.” I’ve had some people actually sit up on the table to watch me at their feet, so, I stop that with the little warmed eye pillow and breathe a sigh of relief that I won’t be watched.

Don’t kick the dog

 Finally, don’t do the “kick the dog” syndrome of attacking me for life’s problems. There is no reason for you to treat someone badly just because you’re having a bad day. Save your anger for a fluffy stuffed toy when you come home and beat the crap out of that, don’t verbally beat me just because I’m there.  That goes for outside of the spa/salon realm though, just try and be nice to people even if it is a super crappy day. Karma will smile upon you and so will the person helping you.