I’ve been described by people who they think know me from when I was in grade school, college, and when I was being homeschooled as sheltered and super shy. They tend to make the assumption that being homeschooled I was absolutely sheltered and being in college I might have been shy because I was very quiet in the classroom. What they didn’t know was that as I was homeschooled I volunteered for so many places, went to England, and did ‘field trips’ all the time which led me to an airplane flying all over the place. I was quiet in my classes because I wanted to hear what the teachers were saying, and I was pretty much an honor roll student in college.
I will admit I am probably a mixture of an introvert and an extrovert. I’d much rather be quiet and watch people interact to understand them rather than flapping my gums and listening to myself talk. My clients rarely discovered anything about my personal life, even if they had been seeing me for 3-4 years. I preferred if they wanted to talk listening to what was going on in their lives and can get uncomfortable with someone purposefully trying to pry into mine.
I absolutely love dancing and will do it at anytime, anywhere, even if people are staring at me. I know whenever I’ve tried to go dancing with friends they practically have to be drunk and I am sober and kicking it whenever I hear a good beat. Public speaking is something I get a kick out of. It’s thrilling when I prepare for it and I’m ready to deliver my heart is racing like I’m getting ready to jump a fence with my horse. I get a sense of accomplishment I can’t quite describe when I speak in front of a bunch of people and I do a great job at it. The last time I did that was with people I knew and I made my very own massage class, which went so well that I was definitely super pumped about it.
I also did two poetry readings at a poetry slam where they were encouraged to boo the readers off the stage. I heard someone hiss when I was speaking, I lost my train of thought and paused, and then kept on with the poem I memorized for it. That was such an empowering experience to keep on with my poem even after someone hissed at me and then the claps I heard after I was done just made it that much sweeter.
I don’t make friends easily, I don’t keep friends generally and I don’t let them into what’s going on in my life unless if I feel the time is right. This isn’t to say I’m not nice to people, I am more than welcoming but letting someone into my heart is really hard. I’m maybe not shy, but I certainly am guarded.