Reminding yourself to breathe again

0906111858bAfter months and months of sending out resumes I finally got two inquiries back in response and interviews set up. Thus, began one of the most stressful times in job career searching life when I juggled setting up interviews each day and worried if both, one, or none would be interested in me. Turns out both were, but I decided on the one and went full stream ahead with my choice.

Once I saw the set up of the place, and also saw some people smiling at me hello, I decided in my head that they had to know this is what I wanted. After all of my time searching, sending out resumes and hearing nothing, my job search stress reached an all time high.

I couldn’t sleep at all for several days, even though I tried to go to sleep early. Waiting for the one place to contact me was a serious emotional roller coater. There was the high of giving, what I thought, was a good practical, and the low of time passing hour after hour without any contact. Each hour put me in a deeper hole of the idea of starting this all over again, and losing this place I really wanted. My days before these interviews were spent checking from the moment I woke to the moment I went to sleep checking websites for new prospects. I’ve never had a job search mean so much to me, and put everything on the line and made sure to sell myself in the interview.

In the evening of the day where I’d be hearing back about the job I wanted I got a text and wondered if it was my husband or my mother. Luckily, it was the job, telling me they wanted to hire me and to come in tomorrow to finalize things and to talk about my schedule. The relief I felt was immediate, and literally it felt like I could breathe for the first time in a while.

0628111941bI’ve started working at a record pace and don’t mind it one bit, It was welcomed after the time I have spent worrying. There are new techniques and modalities I get to learn, and of course, a different way of doings things. There is probably a whole different approach to everything even though it still is in my career I love, massage. Every place has a different way, a different style, but I look forward to the experience of learning and hopefully over time mastering it all over again.

It’s a new start, a new place, a new job, and I’m of course working with new people and clients. There seems to be that question of why I moved when people find out I’m not from around here, but I don’t mind answering it. It’s so nice to be able to say I have a job and that I’m able to keep on practicing in my career and it is like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. This whole experience wasn’t easy and it was much move difficult than I could ever imagine. I made the unfortunate assumption it would be a piece of pie and obviously it wasn’t.

Phew, I think I have a wedding date!

So, part of the stress that is going on with me is health, and me moving away, and losing my job, family, and starting over from scratch at someplace new. Also, losing my fiancée when he’s the first one to move down at where his new job is. He will be moving down before me because I’d like to have another job lined up before I make the move. Okay, so these are still extremely stressful things and I’m not looking forward to being separated from him, and having to give up my job where I love the people I work with plus my room has the best table and it’s huge.

Besides all that, it does help to have something in our sights. Something we can finally seem to pin down.

The wedding date, which is going to be in late April on a Saturday. I was finally able to call up the place we’ve been waiting for and get the dates I was looking for. The wedding date is a few days after my 25th birthday which I think is great too. He and I will have to get our marriage license closer to the date (sometime in February) and finally be able to reserve it once we have the license we can go down there and get that date secured.

It was either the late April one, or March 17, but I like the one a little after my birthday. I still don’t know quite how we will get through being separated when he has to move down there, and he will have to come up for the wedding. At least we seem to have a date to tell people though, and look forward to.

I’m moving … when? I don’t know.

So, I’ve been a little MIA because not only did I find out very stressful and life changing news, I also became sick at the exact same time too. I’ve been sick for the past few days, every day that I’ve worked, so I’ve been trying to push through work and have found I’m super exhausted at night. Plus, not being able to breathe out of my nose has shown me that not only does this frustrate me and I will blow my nose every like, 2 minutes, but also that I can’t sleep until my nose opens up. My sleep has been very little until last night where I actually was able to breathe for one night so I’m feeling better.

And, the scary news that he and I received recently? We are going to be moving. The man got the job offered to him that he wanted. So, we are going to have to move miles and miles away from my job, my family, and from everyone. We still don’t know when he will have to move, and when he finally moves, I’m going to move back into my parents.

I never thought I would say this, because moving back in with my parents means no rent for me, so more saving money, but I’d rather pay the money and be with him than go back to where I was with my folks. It’s just really wonderful being with my fiancée, being moved in with him, where he takes care of me and I take care of him and I’m independent at the same time. I can cook my own easy-to-heat frozen food and not have to worry about going out to eat like I do with the folks every day.

I’d move back in with my parents and fly down to where he is and interview for jobs on my days off from my job here. This means really throwing myself into the boiling pot with going to some place I’ve never been before, and going back to interviewing again. I hate interviewing for jobs, especially in massage, because not only do you have to give a verbal interview but you also have to give a free technical interview. What’s a technical interview? That means we have to massage them for like 30-60 minutes which every one always does so they can get a free massage even if they don’t want you for the job.

I don’t want to be separated from my fiancée for a long period of time, yet I know I can’t just move down there without a job secured. It’s just so scary and I don’t know what’s going to happen, or when. I do think this job was the best he could take, that he can actually be appreciated for his work, and move up in it and get promotions. He really wanted it, it’s just I’m not so sure it’ll be so easy for me to find another job. I am an oddball, and hate going through the interview process … who doesn’t, right?

I’m not going to  just settle for any job,  but I don’t want it to take too long before I can move down with him.