What is it about this place?

There is quite a lot of elements that need to fall into place when you move to someplace new. This is even more true when that place you’ve moved to is completely different from what you’re used to and miles away from what you call home. I definitely think it is much easier to get into the swing of things when you have a job, a daily routine, to throw yourself into.

It works even better if this job is ready for you when you move and you can trick your mind into memorizing this new job in a new place. But, when you’re like me and finding it difficult to find jobs that aren’t listed as ‘No experience necessary body rub girls wanted’ or that straight out say you should be attractive that you are left to your own devices to get used to stuff.

Where I used to live was rather pretty and had a really awesome city you could visit. Visiting the major city here is nice but, of course, doesn’t compare. What I do find quite stunning is what happens near nighttime here.

Around dusk you are treated to the most breathtaking sunsets you’ve ever seen. I’ve seen Sunsets in the Florida keys, and all around the world, but every sunset I seem to catch has the most amazing colors and it is just beautiful. I feel so grateful to catch them and even recently made my husband pull off into a gas station so I could get some pictures of a gorgeous sunset.

Living out of a Suitcase

I was living out of the suitcase for a couple of days last week, with my fiancée and now … we’re separated with him moved down and I’m moved in with my parents. I have missed him intensely these past few days and it doesn’t feel like coming home when I don’t have him there to greet me with a hug at the door.

It’s been really tough these past few days,  and I’ve tried to work through this and look forward to him and I being together after our wedding. I’ve been working hard at work and trying not to let this affect me with my massage career.

I even held my first ever massage class recently where I taught all of our massage therapists a new massage that will be coming out soon. I was so nervous, and anxious, and worked up about it that I was pretty spastic trying to copy pages for the class page-by-page.

The class went over really great and I felt very pumped afterwards that it went well. I’m just very happy to have my job, my co-workers, and that my work gave me the opportunity to teach. Even if it’s for a limited amount of time, I still appreciate it and I’m glad that I was able to have my own class, and to coach new therapists that were hired and train them.

I’m not in a suitcase now but I’m just trying to look forward for when my fiancée will be my husband and we will be living together again.


The Planning Mother-Zila

It’s going to get much harder for things to get done with me and the fiancée as every week he might be here, and the following week he might not. It’s a flip-flopping every single week of him working in his new job miles away, and then coming back to where we live and doing it all over again. I need to pack things up for when I move back to the folks, decide what I need and don’t need to stay with me, get my state license for down there, decide what will be shipped down with his stuff, and even more.

Remember how I said we found a wedding band for the fiancée? Well, turns out we don’t and they didn’t have it in his size. So, we are now on a search for finding him a wedding band he’ll like while mine is being custom made and will hopefully turn out just perfect.

I don’t know if I can quite wrap my head around moving yet. And, I can’t wrap my head around even more that I’m moving back in with my folks, and he’s going to be moving down to his job without me. But, I have a wedding to pay for, a honeymoon to pay for, and I need to keep my job for as long as I possibly can. Which is why me moving is the big secret and I’m a professional at keeping it. That’s not to say it isn’t easy, it’s hard for me every day and on certain days its even worse. And, my mom said today how she doesn’t want to be ex-communicated from my work as a client because I’m leaving.

I swear, everything is always about her. Yes, I am so sorry that you will have to go to my work to get your haircut and you won’t get a discount and your afraid they are going to treat you bad because I’m leaving. I highly doubt that they would do that, but really, mom?  They will end up holding a grudge against me, not you, because you obviously don’t work for them.

And, all she is thinking about, talking about, listening to is herself with planning a trip in June. That is all my mother focuses on is basically travel planning and the planning she does is the most excitement she gets, even when she’s on a trip she’d rather be looking ahead to the next thing. She’s trying to push her weight around with my wedding planning but that’s not happening. It’s small, we have our own idea of what we are doing, and my mom wanted everyone to be in one apartment and plan where they are staying. His sister has a place she wants to stay at, my brother probably wants to stay separately, me and him want a hotel to ourselves, so everyone is going to be staying at separate hotels and that is totally fine.

The fiancee and I still have to figure out where we are going for lunch after the wedding down in the city. But, it’s something he and I should figure out, and my mom is researching that, the vacation, and everything else all at once sometimes. I’m the only one who travels with her because she likes to have things her way and I just go with the flow. I know I’m not exactly a planner myself, and never have been, so I can’t understand her fascination and obsession with it.

Having a not caring nonchalant attitude

He's got the idea of it!

Sometimes I do wish that I could be like my brother. I’ve been thinking this thought with my growing and well hidden guilt I feel with my work situation. Working at a Spa/Salon is a little bit different of an environment than most. While most work places not only expect, appreciate, and want you to give them a 2 weeks notice, at a Spa/Salon it is a death sentence. There is this problem of clients and you might possibly steal them so normally if you are still moving around within the state you will be told to not work your 2 weeks.

If you do tell them about it, and you are moving, like my case, thousands of miles away this doesn’t mean you are in the clear. Just recently two girls at my work who had been there for 2 years, and another for longer than that, moved out-of-state. The one gave 2 weeks notice, worked it, moved away. There were some shifts that she was called in not to work, but it was 2 weeks and luckily that didn’t have to last for too long. The other girl gave them more than 2 weeks notice and her hours were cut, she was told not to come in, and she got very upset about it. The father of her child was far away from where she lived so she had to move to be closer to him.

They weren’t keeping her for her shifts. She would get sent home sometimes 4 hours or so early. New clients were moved from her books to another service provider since she was going to be leaving and they wanted the client to have someone to go to who would still be there.

So, I know how this works. I understand, once I give them my notice, I am literally roadkill that eventually needs to be picked up off of the road and moved out. See, I don’t want the fact that I’m moving to compromise what they think of me, shorten my shifts, or make me give any less than what I’m giving now. For all they know I will be here for just as long of a time as I have been there, and I would, it’s just my fiancee had a better opportunity for a job miles away. He actually thanked me when we were talking on the phone and I was driving home from work for letting him pursue this job which gives him the ability to grow and get promotions.

But, hiding this from my work has given me quite a bit of guilt, even though I know it’s for the best. Every time I talk about the wedding and our date I feel this pang in my heart at the thought of leaving.

I was talking to my brother about it and he just shrugged his shoulders at me. His exact words were, “It’s a job. It’s not your life.” He just looked at it so nonchalantly, like there was no question whether or not I should be getting upset. The answer was I shouldn’t be getting upset, I shouldn’t care because it’s a job. My brother has always jumped from one job to another. When he does leave a job, he gets excited about it and he can’t wait to get out of there. He’s never been tied to one job in his life, and I’ve tied to at least two. My first job as a dog groomer, and this job as a massage therapist. It’s not just it being a job, it’s the people I work with.

It’s my clients I enjoy seeing, and more importantly my co-workers. My little estheticians who I always peek into their rooms when I come  for my shifts. With how much I laugh when I’m at work, and how much fun I can have, I can’t feel okay about leaving. But, I know I have to be because it’s happening one way or another.

Resolutions … Kind of, not really.

As you may or may not know I am not a big fan of New Year Resolutions. I’m also not a big fan of planning ahead. I kind of like to fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl, yet, I do know this year I’m going to have to plan things out. With a big move, losing my job, having to find another one, getting married, a honeymoon, and much more there does have to be some type of plan to go by.

So, here’s my Kind of, Not really Resolutions:

             1. I’m going to need to get another license and reapply for it. This is a new year resolution that has to be done. In this same category is looking for another job in the place we move that I’m happy with. I make the resolution to not settle for just any kind of Salon/Spa and hopefully find someplace with as great as people I have to work with now and that I can be passionate about.

2. Keep my head above water. There are going to be times I’m sure I will be sad, and miss my family, and feel absolutely crazy without money coming in and so much more, but I must be strong and keep myself afloat. I’m going to try to look at the positives and not lose it. This will definitely be the time I can learn more about who I am and how tough I can be in the next few months.

   3. Be a good wife/partner. I’m guessing I’m not perfect and I know that while I love the man, he isn’t perfect either. I will try to show how much I love him especially when we get separated from each other those couple of months when he moves down first. Also, I’m going to try to not get super stressed about everything we need to do for the wedding before and after he leaves.

4. Take care of myself more and make more ‘me’ time. My job is very physical, and exhausting emotionally, physically, and mentally sometimes depending on the clients. I’ve been trying to take more baths to relax my muscles but I also need to stretch, breathe through my massages, and ice myself after work if I’m in pain. I also need to get at least one massage a month which will be a lot tougher when I leave my work.

I’ll put the crap load of tea I bought just recently in the take care of myself area for ‘self-care.’
5. Make time for more of the hobbies I love to do. I love to draw, paint, write, make my own handmade cards, and necklaces. I can be a very creative person. It’s just hard to do these things I love when I’m tired, exhausted, and mainly just want to eat and sleep as much as I can to re-cooperate for work again. This is a positive for the whole moving down there and not having a job thing, I can actually have the time do some of the things I love.  And, maybe be able to volunteer for things like I used to when I was a kid.

Like volunteering at a butterfly garden, working with animals, or even doing volunteer work with kids.

6. Be kind of, sort of … social. With moving down to someplace I’ve never been before, thousands of miles away from my family and work friends, I’m going to have to throw myself in the shark tank and try to do some social things. This is part of the idea of volunteering for stuff I’m interested in that I will meet with cool people who also might like something I like. Or, maybe I will find some dance clubs because I absolutely love to get my groove on.

7. Try to keep in contact with my few friends up here. I know how long distance relationships don’t work because almost every relationship I’ve been in has been long distance and it’s tough. It’s even tougher with friends, and I’m hoping to at least stay in contact. By ‘staying in contact’ I mean sending texts back and forth checking up on how things are.

I’ll try to see if I can do these few things for my Kind of, Not really New Years Resolutions.

Too many questions I can’t answer

It was fun visiting with the fiancée’s family and seeing them again. His mom is very sweet, his step-dad is very nice, and his sister … well, she’s crazy, but I can deal with her fine. She mainly just likes to talk about herself and complain and stuff, which I’m more than used to the few times I see my father. Christmas Eve nearly killed with the appointments I had in the book and the fact that every client was firm to deep pressure. I didn’t get out until past my shift and we didn’t get down to the hotel that day until 9pm.

Mainly, when I saw them on Christmas Day I was thrown a lot of questions I couldn’t answer, didn’t know the answers to, and I didn’t know what to tell them.

Stuff like when are you moving down? Where are you moving to? Will you move down with him first? Is it going to be easy for you to get a job? How does your family feel about this? How do you feel about this?

I could say after basically not answering these questions for hours and hours by the second day I was pretty burned out on it. Yes, I know I’m moving, no, I don’t know when, and no, I don’t think it’s going to be easy to get a job. He knows more answers than me, at least he has a job, and has maybe some sort of idea, I basically have none. I’m thinking I’ll give my work my 2 weeks right before my wedding and then head down with him after we get married. But, he will be moved down there first, I will move myself down there second, and that’s about all I know.

His family meant well, yet I hadn’t talked about our move this much at all so I found it draining. Plus, having to face the thought again and again of us being separated for those few months certainly didn’t help. So, it was a good Christmas, and I was happy to see them, yet I did wish we could have steered clear of the moving talk after talking about it for hours. We got a home-cooked Christmas meal (which never happens with my family) and spent a long time visiting with his mom. Plus, I got a huge Hatbox filled with all these products that I love which I got to open when we came back.

I’m moving … when? I don’t know.

So, I’ve been a little MIA because not only did I find out very stressful and life changing news, I also became sick at the exact same time too. I’ve been sick for the past few days, every day that I’ve worked, so I’ve been trying to push through work and have found I’m super exhausted at night. Plus, not being able to breathe out of my nose has shown me that not only does this frustrate me and I will blow my nose every like, 2 minutes, but also that I can’t sleep until my nose opens up. My sleep has been very little until last night where I actually was able to breathe for one night so I’m feeling better.

And, the scary news that he and I received recently? We are going to be moving. The man got the job offered to him that he wanted. So, we are going to have to move miles and miles away from my job, my family, and from everyone. We still don’t know when he will have to move, and when he finally moves, I’m going to move back into my parents.

I never thought I would say this, because moving back in with my parents means no rent for me, so more saving money, but I’d rather pay the money and be with him than go back to where I was with my folks. It’s just really wonderful being with my fiancée, being moved in with him, where he takes care of me and I take care of him and I’m independent at the same time. I can cook my own easy-to-heat frozen food and not have to worry about going out to eat like I do with the folks every day.

I’d move back in with my parents and fly down to where he is and interview for jobs on my days off from my job here. This means really throwing myself into the boiling pot with going to some place I’ve never been before, and going back to interviewing again. I hate interviewing for jobs, especially in massage, because not only do you have to give a verbal interview but you also have to give a free technical interview. What’s a technical interview? That means we have to massage them for like 30-60 minutes which every one always does so they can get a free massage even if they don’t want you for the job.

I don’t want to be separated from my fiancée for a long period of time, yet I know I can’t just move down there without a job secured. It’s just so scary and I don’t know what’s going to happen, or when. I do think this job was the best he could take, that he can actually be appreciated for his work, and move up in it and get promotions. He really wanted it, it’s just I’m not so sure it’ll be so easy for me to find another job. I am an oddball, and hate going through the interview process … who doesn’t, right?

I’m not going to  just settle for any job,  but I don’t want it to take too long before I can move down with him.

So, what will you bring to the table?

The man had his interview today, he was up against 3 others who are going for the same job. Which, I say are better odds than like 20-50 people who can be the job situation lots of times because it’s hard getting a job out there. But, his is within the company and he’s a little less anxious and nervous, though now probably worked up about our move if he gets it.

I can’t stand interviews. I feel like I don’t interview very well. I have an odd personality and this cannot be restrained even when I try to interview. Plus, I’m a little too honest of a person so this can affect the whole giving them what they want to hear thing that you have to do within interviews. Every spa is like its own culture and luckily I stepped into where I work as soon as they opened so that I could be a part of the bricks that make up the place. Instead of being like the furniture they put in later, I could know where, what, when, and get in on the cliques just as they were forming.

Though, I’m still not a click person really. More of a loner than anything, but at least I know the inside jokes and if anyone wants to find anything in the place they mainly go to me because I know it like the back of my hand.

He really wants the job that will be having us move.

I’m not sure if I’d be ready to move, but I guess we will find out. It’s all just scary.

The Difficult Decision Delayed

The man has been all worked up about the decision that may have to be made about his work and us moving. We’ve known for a while that it is possible, but having him have the interview makes it a lot more real for us. So, he is mainly worried about me and how I’m going to live without my family being nearby.

As much as I complain about them, and as much as they drive me crazy sometimes, I do love my family, depending on the day. They are like my support system, and even though my mother has all the secrets to driving me crazy, and pushes it sometimes (all the time) I still look to her for advice.

I’ve never lived without my family being close to me, physically. The man is afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it.

I know it’s better for me to reassure him that I can, and I try to do this, yet the truth is I don’t know how I’d deal with it. And, as much as my work can be tough on me, or I get overbooked, or whatever the problem, I still love working there. Looking for another job, just the idea of it, is a huge, huge stress. I have a rather difficult personality that either people get me, or they don’t. And if they don’t, I’m not willing to change who I am to make them deal with me better. I’m a rather goofy, fun-loving person, who is both determined, and passionate, about what she does for a career.

Even when he does get the interview who knows when they will contact him about it. He’s trying so hard, working on his off time, always worrying about his work and even on our vacation to Arizona he was still working. He tries to be there 24/7 for his job, yet it’s so much work that he’s behind. The man is leaving again for another business trip, and at the end of it he’ll be doing the interview. We just gotta be strong through all of these trials and changes and rely on each other.

If we had to move I’d try my best to make it work. It’s just not going to be easy in the least and I’d need to have a job first before I moved. Then, I’d maybe try to do some volunteer work on the side to keep me busy and maybe help me not miss my family as much.