Is my introversion showing?

DSC00156As much as I can fool everyone else that I am an extrovert I just can’t do the same with myself, and you better believe I have tried. Sometimes you just know as a kid that being around with people drains you, and that you totally crave ‘me‘ time. I was always that quiet and shy kid who always loved to just be alone with herself and my imagination would just run wild. If I ever was sent to my room for being bad or whatever reason I would relish in the quiet time and bring out my toys to play with them.

The only thing that has changed about me is I know how to handle people to make them feel at ease. I know how to make them believe that I am an extrovert and being considered an extrovert seems to make people feel comfortable. I put a lot of energy into being outgoing, loud, and fun at work which is who I am, but I don’t have enough energy at the end of my work day to go out and be social. After a day where I push myself all I can think about is coming home to my husband and being quiet and just taking it easy.

005With my job you can have some down time and when there’s down time people expect me to be around other people. On certain days I can push myself to be social and interact, but sometimes, I just can’t and that is when I generally keep to myself. During these forced quiet times I think that my introversion is showing, and I try my best to not to let it show, yet I can’t deny when all I want to do is recharge in peace and quiet.  My profession of massage has me being with people all the time when I’m busy, and if I have a day when my clients want to talk during their session I can get particularly exhausted. Luckily, it tends to be unusual for a client that needs to talk during their massage and even more peculiar for there to be more than one in a day.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’ve become quite accustomed to the declaration that I am crazy. Pretty much everyone says it and growing up as a kid who was always called strange and an oddball I’ve learned to wear it like a badge of honor. My favorite thing to say in response, though I have many, is You wish you could be this kind of crazy!” Even when I was younger the other kids would try to bully me about my strangeness, and my anti-social nature, and back then I would still take it as a part of myself. I was unique, extremely unusual, and there was really nothing wrong with who I was unless I wanted to believe them.

So, on days where I know my introversion is showing I just tell myself it is a part of me. I can dance, and be goofy, and be crazy without a second thought but when I come home it’s time to press that recharge button.

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What to do when bullying is on the brains

As a little girl, mainly grade school and preschool, I was bullied, which I find just crazy. How does bullying happen, how does bullying snowball, and how is it that every person seems to go through it and it tends not to be so rare? I had the grade school girls in my class bully me, and I cried to the teacher about it and she certainly didn’t believe me. I’ve been called big girl, and a whole slew of names, so I started to get a really aggressive personality. I’d be ready for a fight, and ready to defend myself if it came.

When I was volunteering and working with children I made sure to try my best to make them feel comfortable and to discourage any kind of bullying. I noticed the shy kids when we were doing activities and would try to get the shy ones out of their shells.

I worked at a nature garden, a space camp, 4-H, a ton of different volunteer opportunities which had me working with younger children. You never know why a kid may be shy but when it came to me watching what I said it was because when I was younger I was made fun of for everything I said. That will discourage you from talking and interacting so I never tried to talk down to the kids I worked with. And with the shy kids I especially made sure to talk to them, encourage them to interact, even act goofy and get them to call me weird if that made them laugh and have fun.

I don’t have any tolerance for bullying whatsoever if it is with kids, adults, there is just no reason for it. Being bullied hard when I was younger just makes me fight against it that much harder if someone is being put through it. I know bullies must get something out of what they do, I’m guessing it has to do with control and putting someone down to make themselves feel better… but I will never understand it.