Is my introversion showing?

DSC00156As much as I can fool everyone else that I am an extrovert I just can’t do the same with myself, and you better believe I have tried. Sometimes you just know as a kid that being around with people drains you, and that you totally crave ‘me‘ time. I was always that quiet and shy kid who always loved to just be alone with herself and my imagination would just run wild. If I ever was sent to my room for being bad or whatever reason I would relish in the quiet time and bring out my toys to play with them.

The only thing that has changed about me is I know how to handle people to make them feel at ease. I know how to make them believe that I am an extrovert and being considered an extrovert seems to make people feel comfortable. I put a lot of energy into being outgoing, loud, and fun at work which is who I am, but I don’t have enough energy at the end of my work day to go out and be social. After a day where I push myself all I can think about is coming home to my husband and being quiet and just taking it easy.

005With my job you can have some down time and when there’s down time people expect me to be around other people. On certain days I can push myself to be social and interact, but sometimes, I just can’t and that is when I generally keep to myself. During these forced quiet times I think that my introversion is showing, and I try my best to not to let it show, yet I can’t deny when all I want to do is recharge in peace and quiet.  My profession of massage has me being with people all the time when I’m busy, and if I have a day when my clients want to talk during their session I can get particularly exhausted. Luckily, it tends to be unusual for a client that needs to talk during their massage and even more peculiar for there to be more than one in a day.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’ve become quite accustomed to the declaration that I am crazy. Pretty much everyone says it and growing up as a kid who was always called strange and an oddball I’ve learned to wear it like a badge of honor. My favorite thing to say in response, though I have many, is You wish you could be this kind of crazy!” Even when I was younger the other kids would try to bully me about my strangeness, and my anti-social nature, and back then I would still take it as a part of myself. I was unique, extremely unusual, and there was really nothing wrong with who I was unless I wanted to believe them.

So, on days where I know my introversion is showing I just tell myself it is a part of me. I can dance, and be goofy, and be crazy without a second thought but when I come home it’s time to press that recharge button.

Missing that Ball

Arizona, 2011, the wooden donkey

Sometimes I wonder why I purposefully miss the ball on things. Reading certain popular books I’ll wait until the fever for the book calms down years later and then try my hand at it. Same goes for my generally queasiness when it comes to social network sites. I was into doing blogs before blogs were even in. As a kid I’d make my own websites and create several blogs years and years ago, instead of doing homework. Whoops.

I’ve also never been the one to hunt after conventional jobs and careers. First I was a dog groomer for 2 1/2 years, now I’m a massage therapist for 3 years, and before that I did volunteer work with a nature garden, a space center-like place, and a bunch of other odd, but fun, things.

My favorite hobbies were like bowling, golfing, fishing, biking, bug collecting (since before I could talk I collected bugs in my plastic see-through purse) and many other…. non-girly stuff. I still hold onto a fascination with bugs to this day, and I’m absolutely enthralled with the ocean too. I find that so cool and if I could breathe air under water I’d probably never come up from a pool, or more importantly, the ocean if I had built-in gills.

Do I love the sound of not falling the crowd or is it just in me, since I was a child, to be well… rather an odd ball?

I think it’s probably the second one. There have always been people who shake their heads at me, who call me weird, strange, unusual, and many other words. And when I was younger this would make me self conscious, but now-a-days I puff out my chest, look them in the eye, give them a kooky smile and say, “What took you so long to figure that out?”