I am not a normal newlywed

005When people hear that I am a newlywed they either mumble with, “that must be nice, wait 10 years them tell me how you feel,” or, “really?? you’re a newlywed?!” They then proceed to tell me how I’m destroying their dreams with reaction number two because I’m not their ideal of a newlywed. I’m not sure where their opinion grew from, probably from TV and movie depictions of newlyweds. Generally though movies never follow after the happily ever after ending.

Our wedding was the anti-wedding and I doubt I’d have it any other way, even though we were running late and playing catch up all day. The beginning of my husband and I’s married lives together couldn’t have been more of a difficult start to any marriage. We were not a story book happily ever after end, it was more of a how will we survive this first storm together?

I keep on hearing a lot of “you’re a newlywed, you should be more warm and feely!” The funny thing is that he and I are actually a rather warm, but mainly very funny, wife and husband combo. It’s just my coworkers react like it’s the end of the world because I’m a newlywed and I have sharing problems when it comes to sharing snacks and those little things. You should have seen their looks when I told them with some of my favorite work snacks I tend to hide them from my husband.

033You’d think it was the end of the world once they realized I’ve only been married for a year with my husband. Yet, what they don’t know is how many years we’ve been together besides that year of marriage. My husband sometimes hides snacks from me, and I totally get it when he does.

I say that one of my favorite things about our relationship is our humor, our ability to laugh at each other and ourselves. I loved from the moment I spoke to him (and I was attracted to him when I saw him too) that he could keep up with me in a conversation. That’s one of the things I needed the most when I was struggling looking for a job, with no friends and no family, was trying to learn to laugh again.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOur first year of marriage was one of the most difficult years of both our lives. There wasn’t a ‘happily ever after‘ attached to our wedding day, only a disconcerting question of how are we going to get through this storm? It wasn’t easy, but we are able to see the sky clearing and things look so much better now than ever before.

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  1. Although many people seem to think that the first year or two of marriage should be a ‘honeymoon period’ where everything is fine and dandy, there many others that say that the first year or two of marriage are the hardest. I tend to agree with the latter faction, especially if there is a change of residence after the nuptials. It’s not THAT easy to get used to new responsabilities, new commitments and new surroundings. It is so refreshing to read someone saying it as it truly is!

    • For us it was that hard road for our first year of marriage, but moving, changing jobs, giving up friends and family will do that. Luckily for him and I we are a couple who like to laugh at ourselves and each other and that helped when things felt too serious or kind of scary like when I was unemployed. Luckily I am employed now so I am very happy for that for sure!

  2. I really appreciate your outlook. We make any situation what it is. We can be realistic or we can be unrealistic.

    • Very true, and I think that like anything marriage is work and you just keep on working at it and it has be built on that foundation of love to start off. And, in our case, foundation of love and it doesn’t hurt to have some humor thrown in too. 😉


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