When clothes are your lifelong enemy

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYou know those people you meet in life where their parents (mother) end up buying them all their clothes? If you haven’t met someone like that then meet me, I’ve been my mothers real life dress up doll for years. Why? Because, for one, it saved me money, but I think why it happened is because I passionately hate clothes and everything to do with clothes shopping.

Now, I’m on my own in a new place and things have changed. Plus, I have lost around 50 pounds since I moved, so I have the need to buy clothes. My clothes were so baggy on my body, especially jeans, that they were literally hanging off me. And I’m starting to learn something about myself and my life long battle against clothes shopping…

It may have been caused by years of shopping with my mother and bending to the clothes she liked and wanted to get. It doesn’t help your shopping experience when you are told if only you lost so much weight you would look okay. My lost weight happened because I made it happen, on my terms, and to help with my polycystic ovarian syndrome. It’s also nice to have yourself be your own stylist with what you like and want.

skinnyvsnotskinnyEven when I see her recently and I shopped once to get a couple of shirts and she would say how one would, “make me look skinny,” while another wouldn’t. I’ve heard so many times I can’t count how my stomach doesn’t work, the shirt isn’t baggy enough to hide it, or how my legs, my butt, just don’t look good. “If only you lost weight,” then I would be better.

So, when I finally set off on my own to get clothes that would fit my body better that hatred diminished as I tried on clothes that truly fit me. I didn’t get extra large clothes to hide my stomach, a size above what I needed, because I didn’t have that extra voice telling me to. And, though getting a hold on my style and how clothes look on my body is good, the money does add up. Luckily, my husband supports me with it and always encourages me that I am pretty to him no matter the weight, size, or how I feel. When I start feeling guilty about the money spent he just says clothes are a necessity, and he helps me feel better about it.

My discovery of an alliance with clothes is a surprise to me, and also such a new discovery. I’m developing my sense of style, a wardrobe that truly is me, while I try to find peace with myself. I am lucky enough to have a husband who reassures me every day and I know he has always loved my body.

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3 Comments

  1. The summer I reached the 50 pound loss mark was the summer of spending a LOT of money. The weight was coming off pretty quickly and so many of the new clothes I bought didn’t fit anymore! Seriously, I’d buy a few new shirts, wear them a few times and then they didn’t fit anymore. There were even clothes that still had the tag on them that I was never able to wear before going down another size!

    Reply
    • Oh my goodness congrats on your weight loss, that is awesome! And I totally feel for your dilemma of buying some shirts and then having to buy new ones because they don’t fit. I bought four or five new pair of jeans and none of them fit anymore so now I can only wear one pair where they don’t fall down and look decent on. I need to get another pair but I am scared with my bad luck I have with jeans! Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

      Reply
  2. I have had many friends with mother’s like that. One showed me her high school pictures. Her mom kept telling her she was fat and her yet school nickname was Skelly Kelly because she was skeletal thin and underweight. As soon as she moved out she gained some weight since her mom wasn’t on her case every time she at. I’ve always been amazed that she never developed any eating disorders and has a pretty amazing and healthy attitude towards her own weight now days. Despite having 4 children and being on a medication that causes her to gain and hold on to weight, while she would like to lose some of the extra weight, she is very happy with herself and won’t let anyone tell her otherwise.

    Reply

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