You may think that the idea of a scary movie, or a nightmare, would be snakes on a plane. On a recent flight I went through I wish I had something like random snakes on a plane than what had happened to me. And, it felt like the worst nightmare that I was living in real time, and where I lost track of minutes, seconds, hours, I was trapped.
I was completely and totally trapped within my body, inside of a prison of pain stuck within my own head. My hands went numb, then my arm went numb, and it really made me flip out when the right side of my face went numb. This is when I panicked and they sat a nurse next to me to check my vitals, my heart rate, and get something to test my blood pressure. I was asked if I get anxiety attacks, but I knew I was panicking when my face went numb. And, I tried to calm myself and get my breathing back to normal when I felt my mind get caught up in panic.
It was like living in a tunnel, with movements happening in your vision you knew wasn’t exactly happening but your eyes aren’t working right. I could hear the other passengers talking about me, what was wrong with me, but their voices painfully echoed in my brain, yet they sounded so far away.
I know my body wanted to pass out, the pain was so much I don’t know how I didn’t pass out for hours of the pain I was in on that plane. My body turning numb, especially my face, was absolutely the most terrifying thing ever. People were trying to be nice to me, to talk to me, to engage me to make sure I wasn’t going to pass out but I couldn’t form words and I processed what they were saying through a heavy and painful fog.
Here I am days later, weak, tired, and unable to walk and stand. I get lightheaded every time I try to walk I can’t walk straight and my head feels so heavy. I have a doctors appointment which I hope will give me some answers, and allow me to get back to living a normal life. All I’ve been doing is sleeping, not walking, and eating very little. You would think after a vacation you would feel improved, rested, and that it wouldn’t cause the worst attack on your body and mind of your life.
I’m lucky to have a great husband who takes the best care of me, my new work who have been very understanding about me needing time off and not being steady enough to stand or walk. I want to get back to work, I miss it and my coworkers, and to be able to stand without getting dizzy or needing to sit down.