I haven’t dealt with death much in my life, which I know is a blessing. But, its also because I don’t let people in my life as well as I don’t have much family. My grandmother, my moms mother, died before I was born.
My grandfather was the last death that we experienced as a family and taking him in our house was the most difficult 2 years of our life as a family. He was diagnosed with a rare disease, then it was discovered he had a life threatening problem and we had hospice visiting for a year. The way he finally was hurt was falling down and the wheelchair was too far away for him to fall in. We never had a funeral for him so I haven’t gone to a funeral since I was 5 years old. I really don’t know what is going on, what you do, what happens, none of it.
My grandmother just recently passed, and the feeling of her being gone is something that hit me harder than I ever thought. My grandmother and I had a complicated relationship, but she was also a stubborn, strong, and force of nature type of lady. She was suffering and had that fierce independence taken away from her as disease ravaged her body and functions. My grandmother is of course in a better place but death has knocked at her door step so many times I can’t even count. She has fought against death and recovered when you thought it wouldn’t happen, so for her to finally be taken by it just feels like maybe it just isn’t possible.
Yet, it is possible, she is gone and I am back where my family is to be there for third funeral in my life. My father is devastated and I need to be there for him for support. My fathers family and I have never gotten along, and I was definitely closest to my grandmother. My family, my brother, me, my mother, and father, will be there for the wake and the funeral. I flew down to be here and it’s been very hard for me being back and with my grandmother’s passing.
That’s what happens when you are family, you will band together for each other to get through the toughest moments in life, even when death makes an unexpected appearance in your life.