It’s a conspiracy against me

So, my husband got me an iphone and I know what you’re thinking if you are an apple person, “Noooo!! You should have waited, the newest iPhone is coming out any time and they didn’t tell us when but it is sooo coming and it will be the awesomest!” My brother mentioned this several times when I first told him I had an iPhone that I needed to wait and my current phone situation was that I wasn’t going to have one so yeah… I couldn’t wait.

I don’t know anything about smart phones, I’ve had a basic phone all my life, a flip phone, and those seemed rather simple and easy. I got the smart phone because I was allowed to and it sounded like it might be cool.

Plus, the phone has Siri. I already formulated ridiculous questions to ask her, like the of course famous one of: “Siri, where would you bury a dead body?” She, to my surprise, answered it quite efficiently by mentioning funeral, crematorium, and a dump/ditch. I chose the dump/ditch, and she more than readily told me the closest one to me. I also asked her what is the meaning of life? Which she readily gave me this lengthy answer of being nice to people, living well, and a whole paragraph of what it meant. I talked to Siri so much the first few days that my phone battery was completely drained pretty quickly.

But, I tried something different last night after I watched my husband play with her. He kept on saying stuff in French, Japanese and German and she kept responding back to him in that language. He knows basically three words of each of those three languages and she understood him and carried on a conversation which probably translated went, “No way, you just asked the great Siri if I speak French? Why, I’ve been programmed with so much French I could make your head spin!” I was a little bummed when my husband told me she was programmed for those three languages, but not Spanish.

I know a lot more Spanish than I do all three of those languages, I kind of wanted to practice my Spanish with her and get a little more fine tuned at it. But, that’s not going to be happening because she’d just tell me I don’t know what you’re talking about if I asked her how she was in Spanish.

Then, I’m on this blog and she says that her husband just tells her to say Sumimasen while she is in Japan because she’s planning on getting in a lot of trouble and he says that is equivalent to saying your sorry. In the blog post he even pronounces it for her with the syllables so I’m feeling pretty good at getting this right. I activate Siri and speak into it: “Sue-me ma-sen.” It sounds great to me, Siri takes a few seconds to think about it and in the Australian accent I chose for her she says: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying. Would you like me to do a web search for Siril Malsen/Sulen Maltide/Silly Masen?”

I try over and over again to say this phrase, I accentuate so she gets I’m trying to speak another language, but she keeps on coming up with these ridiculous web searches for what I’m saying. Finally, I try again with another phrase: “Domo Arigato.” Again, she comes up with these weird searches while my husband just said it once, each time, and she totally understood him.

I think it’s a conspiracy against me, maybe my husband is the true master of the Siri. Or, with her Australian accent programmed in she has a harder time understanding me… maybe.

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1 Comment

  1. I could not keep it to myself for one second. I grabbed my phone and snapped a pic of the test and immediately texted it to my husband. At work. In a meeting. With 4 other dudes.


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