Meatless Meat is kind of scary

There is this one time me and my brother were sabotaged into going to a vegetarian place. Now, if you are vegetarian that is great, and your prerogative, but if I didn’t eat meat I would starve to death slowly and painfully. Me and my brother like ahem, love, meat so we went to this unassuming place near the city and opened up our menus. My eyes scanned the menu for meat and all I saw was “meat-like” burgers and so we had our waitress come over to see if we made up our minds.

Me: “Um, so, what’s up with the burgers? They are meat … right?”

Waitress: “They are soy burgers, and taste just like meat. I mean, our customers who eat meat totally say it’s just like a normal burger!”

This is when the waitress tries, unsuccessfully, to convince us that this meatless burger with soy cheese is totally the bomb diggity and meat lovers are converted into vegetarians with one bite. My brother and I give my mother this look like she sold us off to a slave driver and once our poor waitress leaves we totally freak out. Of course, my brother and I boycott it immediately while telling my mom over and over again how crazy she is for bringing us there. She delivered us to a restaurant that says it gives us burgers that don’t even have real cheese or meat… cheese and meat was like our bread and butter.

Fast forward to today-ish, I am more adventurous and I worked with a co-worker who was a vegetarian. She would eat these dishes that look an awful lot like meat, so much so that I’m deceived that she threw in her veggie cape for a leather jacket.  I once tried her bbq ribs that were of course soy ribs slathered in bbq sauce and it wasn’t bad, from what I can remember. I decided to buy it for myself at a store when I was visiting with my family and cooked (a.k.a., microwaved) it up for myself.

Now, I think anything slathered in bbq sauce might be tasty, kind of like covering something in chocolate. But, when I made those meatless bbq ribs and tried it I just couldn’t handle it. It was stringy, strange, and that bbq sauce just didn’t make it amazing enough to save it. I patted myself on the back for trying but I am certainly not turning into a vegetarian and a good steak sometimes just tastes like heaven on my taste buds.

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2 Comments

  1. I love meat. So I will never go vegitarian. But we used to have a fantastic vegitarian restaurant downtown that I loved to visit. They had the most amazing delicious black bean burgers that were slightly spicy. I was so bummed when they closed. I will occassionally eat a meatless meal. But only at a few selected places. There is one Greek place and a couple Indian places where I will have vegitarian fare. But I don’t think of it in those terms. I’m just having a really delicious dinner that happens to be perfect w/o any meat.

    Reply
    • I wouldn’t be against a meatless meal where it is just really delicious food, I just see, to find all delicious things including meat in it. Actually, I wouldn’t be against a black bean burger I’ve heard those are really tasty so I’d try it at least once to see what it was like. Thank you for commenting!

      Reply

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