I thought with putting years between me and horses, the thought of them, and turning my head when I saw pastures would make it go away, the pang of not being a rider, and not being around them. I mean, come on, my mother forced me into horseback riding when I was a little girl, 7 years old, and I mainly wanted to play with the barn cats. But, as she kept trying, I kind of figured something out as time went out… I really did love them.
And, you’d think I wouldn’t miss being dirty. The dirt is so encased in my fingernails and skin that I think it’s gotta take a long time in the shower to get it off. You’d maybe think that smell of a horse, the unmistakable smell of a horse person, leather, sweat, hay, and all of those things mixed into a cocktail would maybe turn me off.
But, it didn’t, seeing the horses made me just as ready to ride them. The hubby was even super cute (and dangerous) trying to teach one rather rambunctious horse his place and I kept having to check to see if he wouldn’t get stepped on. He waited patiently and messed around with the other horses as we got tack, and saddles, and even got on to ride for a bit. And, I am sore in places that I didn’t even know could hurt that way, yet… I’m still loving it. It made me so happy, brushing, picking hooves, doing everything that was so routine in my life but was missing for what feels like forever. I still talk about my horse as if I have her, and I’m sure it sounds wrong, goofy, and I keep having to correct myself but they didn’t point it out.
It felt cathartic to talk about what she went through, my experience with horses, how I’ve been doing it since I was little and have been on about every trouble maker and crazy animal out there. This lady I’m going to be exercising for is sweet, kind, and loves and spoils her horses to death. They have a swimming pool, a fishing pond, the horses, and even a peacock who visits them and hangs around!
There was three mares and two geldings, and each one of them are extremely intelligent. Like, they open doors when you have your back turned and even open their stalls from inside. I can see they are trouble makers, but it just makes me smile and gives me a challenge.
Today was really great, a whole day spent with my hubby’s co-worker who has this amazing ranch and she was really looking for someone to exercise her horses and I’m happy to do it. If you don’t exercise someone’s horses then you need to pay for lessons, which can cost $35-$50 and up, and being without a job I just don’t have the money to be spending once a week for maybe a half and hour or an hour if you’re lucky. Plus, it gets me out with a horse person I can relate to, and it was fun hanging around her. She’s been out of riding because she hasn’t felt well, and I’ve been out of it because of the mourning of my own horse.
I was so scared to say yes, so scared that I’d somehow fail and I’d see the horses and I’d just start crying. Or, I’d be still so grief-stricken that I’d just become a mess and I hate showing that kind of emotion to anyone. I was so anxious with us driving there that my stomach was in knots and hurting me, but everything kind of melted away when I was around them. My mind felt so focused in the saddle and I felt excitement and peace at the same time.