Queen of Interviewing BS

I’m guessing I inherited the BS interview trait from my brother, though I had to learn from my first few interviews that being absolutely honest is not the best idea. And, I’m thinking he tends to be a bit more cocky than me. I am not cocky, though with more years under my belt and being proclaimed by many clients as, magic hands” certainly doesn’t hurt my ego one bit. I have been job hunting and searching through the internet and haven’t found anything close to me so I will probably be rusty with interviewing whenever I find something.

There was this one interview with a chiropractor for a massage job where I was given two pens taped together. The chiropractor then told me to sell him the two pens that were taped together. What I would say to someone to sell the pen, no, I am not making this up.

I also went to a chiropractor for a massage job and he said I reeked of cigarette smoke and that their clients are trying to live very healthy lives so he I was not to be smoking and I was unhealthy for that. Unbeknownst to him I am not a smoker, both my mother and father are, and my mother smoked inside of the laundry room so even when I washed my clothes I still couldn’t get the smell off.  I even told her after the interview to maybe smoke some place else so I could try to keep my clothes ‘clean’ smelling and she said no. When I got hired by my work sometimes I would come in and the manager would look at me funny and asked if I smoked. It was so annoying trying to defend myself when I got those looks of, “Oh, yeah, sure your parents smoke and that is their cigarette smoke, not yours. Ha ha, not falling for that.”

I also went to a chiropractor for an interview and he asked me if I was dating anyone, married, and if I lived at home. I felt so dirty after that interview that I wanted to wash my clothes and hop in the shower too for double duty. I didn’t even know how to react and it hit me afterwards how messed up it was, in the moment I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say.

I can BS my way through interviews all I like and I do tell them what they want to hear. I try to sell myself but I have had such a messed up history with interviews for a massage position that I’m so scared to get back in it. It’s not normal, the way of interviewing isn’t just face-to-face BSing but we end up having to give a ‘technical’ massage to the person in the interview and that can be super weird. It’s intimidating and uncomfortable, and when they tell you you were nervous you just gotta bite your tongue not to say,

Ummm… yeah, I was nervous, I need a job and you couldn’t relax and I couldn’t relax and you were picking at everything I was doing when I was massaging and I could feel it even if you didn’t say a word!” 

You can feel when someone is thinking, you can feel when they are preoccupied when you massage. Clients I ended up knowing really well and regulars of mine I could tell within the first 5 seconds of seeing them, without saying a word, if they were having a tough day or if something was bothering them. I am too in tune to how people feel sometimes, and that’s why some of my best massages are when my clients let go and relax, I tend to know when they take that deep breath they are finally present and aren’t thinking about everything at once.

I know there are certain things you say, and don’t say, in an interview and you try to listen to what they want to hear from you. They are trying to see if they want you, and you are trying to see if you can make the interviewer want to hire you.

It’s like a first date with interviewing. All of the baggage is hidden in the closet, your best face is put on, you may hold back what you really want to say because you are trying to impress the person you’re with. You don’t know if they will accept you for you, so what you end up doing is trying to figure out what they want and you try to give it to them. I tend to be a blunt, painfully honest person who has a crazy personality and keeping that hidden is not exactly easy. I can be a good at the interview game but that can you only take you so far. And bad interviews really is a confidence killer for me and makes me doubt my abilities.

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  1. I’m job searching myself and it can be a disheartening process. It can also be a great learning process like you’ve documented. I just finished reading “S$!t my Dad says” and it has some great life lessons in it. At the least, you’ll get an amazing belly laugh and stress reliever 🙂

    • Ugh, I know, interviewing and job searching is some of the most stressful stuff and you just don’t know if you should go after them. And, the things I’ve been told while interviewing as a massage therapist can be really frustrating when they question your ability at your profession. I like the sound of that book, I might just have to check it out! Sounds like it’d definitely be a stress reliever and a funny read. 🙂

  2. Ouch, you’ve had some rough interviews!! I definitely think interviews are SO stressful and dread them!

    • Ha, I know, I never expected interviewing as a massage therapist would be so difficult and that basically 90% of the interviews are really kind of crazy. I would always try to go into it with a positive attitude and with my best foot forward, but it’d wind up getting strange or them being pretty mean to me as a new therapist. There were two massage interviews out of dozens that actually were really positive. One was a chiropractor who didn’t hire me but was very nice, and the other was my job I’ve had for 4 years. Interviews are super stressful and with this career they can be super weird!


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