When I went to visit my friends back home a couple asked me how it felt being married. The hubby even had some of his co-workers asking the same question, gauging whether or not the act of getting married had changed the dynamics of our relationship. To me the question was asked with a teasing smile, but I didn’t know quite how to answer.
This is because our relationship feels the same. The only huge difference for me is the difference I feel every day with our move, and me not having a job right now. That resonates with me, but our relationship feels the same like when we weren’t married and just engaged. We lived together for not-too-long of a period and then he moved down without me miles away because of his job. I moved back in with my parents and that changed our relationship because I didn’t have him there every day.
As you probably know if you’ve been reading this blog I was the type of person to believe I would never get married. My parents aren’t exactly ‘happily’ married and my mom was divorced once before she met my dad. I just didn’t look at marriage as working for me, and I could never see myself with someone for the rest of my life. I didn’t like dating, and before I met the hubby I was basically single for 2 years and certainly not looking for anyone. I’ve had my own set of bad relationships that have put a bad taste in my mouth and was pretty determined to be alone for the rest of my life so I never had to depend upon anyone except myself. That’s why when I met my husband-to-be I wasn’t exactly the nicest to him because I knew when we first started talking I really liked him.
The first time we met he was just so funny, cute, and able to keep up with me that I was instantly attracted. We sparred each other with jokes back and forth and I knew I had met my equal match. I knew how I felt, and when I really do like someone I tend to A) avoid them or B) push them away. And I chose to push him away and shot down his request for my phone number with the infamous, “F that shit!”
We met again the following night, danced for hours and hours to live music at the same place we met the night before and I continued to be the wonderfully non-charming lady that I am when I like a guy. We ended up finding out that night the age difference we had. For me, it was a larger age difference than I’m used to but I’ve always dated older guys. He was thrown off by it because he thought I was much older and I ended up thinking he was actually quite a bit younger. Obviously we were still really attracted to each other and he asked again for my phone number… which I again shot down. I found him on the website we had ended up meeting each other through (not a dating website, mind you) and ended up giving him my number through an email and we went out on our first date the day after.
Of course, I’ve told this story before but it always amazes me thinking back that he kept on going after me. I wasn’t nice at all, and was trying to scare him away, yet he kept on chasing me and wouldn’t give up. Being married now does feel the same, but the only thing that changes it is us figuring out how to live together with a move miles away and me being jobless. He’s helped me when I’ve had a bad day and I have been his nursemade when he’s been sick. Even though we have ups and down, the hubby gets me and I feel like I’m a better person with him.
I try to be less cynical, I try to think in a more positive way, and I try to believe him when he says I can do anything and how pretty I am.