My Unintended Starvation Plan

Maybe I'm going to look like this eventually...

So, the past few days as you can tell from the lack of blog posts have been pretty damn awful and it’s only today where I think I may be on the mend (hopefully) but I thought this on Sunday and then got terribly worse yesterday. Friday and Saturday were basically days where I was incapacitated. I was so bad on Friday that they called around for a massage therapist to cover my shift the next day and called me off. I was really bad yesterday so they have me coming in later for some of my clients who pre-booked with me, but gave me the morning/afternoon to sleep in.

I also have entered into an unintended starvation plan because of being so sick. I haven’t been hungry, I haven’t felt like eating, and mainly have been eating soup for the past few days. I can’t taste anything, even with my nose cleared, and have been forcing myself to eat but with little success.

Mainly I just want to sleep, and yesterday I sounded better than my worst day but my breathing was off, I felt very exhausted, and my head was killing me. Every time I go through something traumatic in my life, like clockwork, I get severely sick at the same time. And, I’m not talking about your every day cold where you get a stuffy nose and slight cough, but you take some DayQuil and it’s all good. No, what I go through just destroys me, and I know it’s because of that huge thing in my life and the stress I’m in just makes my body a perfect breeding ground for that perfect storm.

I know I need to let go of the stress, and I know I need to try to not control everything, but the man will be moving next week and I need to move out of our apartment and back in with my folks. I’m really upset, and I think I’m finally coming to terms that this is happening and I’ve been trying to pack and then I got hit with this cold from hell, or whatever it is. I rarely let him take care of me, yet I haven’t had a choice lately and he’s taken the best care of me the past few days.

I’m not used to depending upon anyone, and I’ve come to depend on him and I’m just going to miss him so much while we’re separated.  I’ve made my decision that this is what is going to happen, he will move down there and I will follow him after the wedding, but it just doesn’t make it any easier to go through.

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1 Comment

  1. Hey girl,
    I tagged you in todays post.

    Reply

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