The man who I replied, “F*ck that sh*t”

It’s a true story, responding “F*ck that sh*t!” when he asked for my phone number. I clearly traumatized him after that point as his mouth fell open, gaping, and I just laughed. I had probably scared and confused him and many other things all at the same time. I wouldn’t be close to him, begging him to bowl with me, and flirting with him if I didn’t like him.

That was part of the problem. I liked him a lot and I knew it the moment our eyes’ met over the empty food table and especially when we first started talking. He made me laugh, I made him laugh, and that first night I was trying to push him away especially since I knew I liked him. If he didn’t come the second night to the same place, which I knew he was going to be there, then we probably wouldn’t be together. I would have gotten my wish to never be in a relationship again and to be by myself for the rest of my life.

I thought he was a player, and he laughs at this to this day because he’s only dated a few people. He was just so out-going, so much the life of the party, and I thought he was just playing the field and I was part of it.

He bought me my first drink ever from a guy, which he still laughs at to this day.

I was planning to never be in another relationship before him, and certainly planning even more never to get married. I fought the idea of getting married when we were together, because I was afraid we’d end up like my parents, and I’d end up like my mom with her second marriage to my father. I was afraid I wouldn’t be loving, and couldn’t express love like he does through so much affection, hugs, and saying “I love you” all the time. I’ve slowly picked up on his affection but I still tend to clam up around my family because they are so against any form of it and we don’t even give each other hugs … ever.

One of the things I love the most about him is that when we do get in disagreements we talk it with each other. And then, after we’re done, he forgets about it, and I do the same. I’m so used to always holding onto things later to defend myself that it’s nice to let it go. For us to forgive, forget, move on and it’s still something I’m getting used to.

And, he got me two gifts from Valentine’s Day, and he made me dinner too. I was planning on writing in a card and giving him it but the night before I slept about 10 hours or so, I’ve just been so exhausted. I need to do it today though because I feel like a really bad fiancée and I haven’t been much company lately. I feel like I should make every moment count because soon enough we won’t have these moments any more, for at least 2 months, but working every day this week hasn’t helped at all with this plan.

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2 Comments

  1. Aw, this is so sweet!

    Reply
  2. Dude you have a keeper!

    Reply

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