Why I love him

I woke up this morning after not sleeping last night and basically tossing and turning. I had my freak-out yesterday, and I just felt so terrible. I ended up crying on the phone talking to the man about what has happened to me and what I’ve experienced. He was there for me when I needed him. I woke up to an email (since this is one of his weeks he’s out-of-town) that said what I needed to hear, and was comforting for me to read. At times when I feel like I am falling apart, both physically, and mentally, he helps to glue me back together.  I’m a pretty calm person, and I rarely become unraveled, but lately it feels like everything has the ability to set me off.

I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life, and I’m happy the move with his job will make him happier. It might just be a good start with me and change in my life. It’s just right now everything feels like it’s falling apart, I don’t know how long I can handle moving back in with my folks. It takes that time away to see how things are, and I’ve gotten used to the comfort, love, and happiness I have living with my fiancée. I love him because he knows what to do when I feel lost, sad, and he makes us talk things out even though I want to bury myself in a corner and just wake up the next day. I don’t want to talk about things, I want to just stew and then force myself to get over it, yet he makes me face the demons with him by my side. Life feels fuller with him, yet I can still be my own individual.

He makes me breakfast on the morning of his birthday even though I was a money ho and picked up the day of his birthday to work. The man understands when I’m late every day from work and has dinner ready for me and open arms for me to collapse into when I step in the door. It’s also the feeling I have when I’m with him and we may just be watching TV together or I’m playing on my lap top and he’s watching TV in the living room. It’s this sense of peace I have when we are together. It feels like ‘home‘ just being in a space with him.

We aren’t the perfect couple, we’ve had our disagreements, and we can never be perfect. But, what makes me happy even when we do disagree is that we don’t hold grudges against each other. We talk about what happened, we get it out in air, and we move on. As a couple we don’t manipulate each other like I so often see my folks doing. It makes me so happy to know that even growing up with two people married who don’t get along, and don’t seem to love each other, that I can find love and keep it in my life.

It makes me happy that I can find someone to love and I can work through what I’ve grown up with. I can be affectionate even though my family never does that. I can say I love him every day even though the ‘I love you’ is never spoken with my family. He makes me want to be a better person, and to realize the mistakes I make and correct them to be a better partner.

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3 Comments

  1. A beautiful tribute. How lovely is that feeling of peace when you are with someone you love!

    Reply
  2. So beautifully written!

    And although there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, I believe that communication and openness are two keys for making a “near” perfect one. Even in the imperfections, these are the things that make it work.

    Loved this post!

    Reply
    • Thank you, I’m glad that you loved it! Very true that there is always something to work on with a relationship, and communication and openness is absolutely key to making a relationship stronger.

      Reply

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