Just call me little Miss Unconventional

So, I’ve decided even though I feel as huge as an elephant in a tutu with a dress that I will try to where one for my wedding day. Me and my mom went yesterday to the mall and were walking around shopping and ended up in the clothes section. I hate clothes, I wouldn’t buy them unless if I have to and what I hate more than clothes shopping is trying them on. I’ve had too many experiences where something hasn’t fit, and where I look at myself near naked in a full mirror with full-on lights on and I just want to bury myself in a hole.

Why can’t they do special mood lighting for when you go clothes shopping? Yes, I know, then you buy it thinking it’s great and see it with good lighting and can’t stand it so you return it, but I wouldn’t be against softer lighting.

We enter the clothes arena and there are so many different selections and we end up getting tracked down by a sales person. She asks my mom what we are looking for and she pretty much answers her with, “We don’t have a clue what we are doing. She is going to have a wedding in April and we don’t know what she should wear!” The sales girl’s eyes light up as soon as she hears the infamous word ‘wedding’ to which I say that I hate clothes, dresses, and don’t want to look like terrible. She suggests a skirt and a blouse I would wear to an interview, but not to my wedding. And, when her suggestions fall on deaf ears she says for us to maybe go up to the upper level where the plus sized is, for 14 and up.

I mumble under my breath how I must look huge today and get as far away as I can from the skinny, tiny, sales associate that I possibly can. We head up to the top floor and already I feel not-that-great and just down about trying on dresses. But, I truck on and try on about six different dresses. One makes me look like a mermaid, and not in a good way. It has literal scales and it tapers down to make me look like my legs are a tail. Another dress washes me out, another one is okay but mainly black with sparkles, and the best one I found was this pretty teal dress.

As you can tell, I do not want a wedding dress in the conventional sense. I want a dress I can wear to my wedding that has color and looks good, and I can possibly wear to the fiancée’s work outings when I need something fancy. I want something I can wear more than once, and I want it to be pretty and fit me well and not be uncomfortable. The dress I liked wasn’t in my size and didn’t quite work as well as I wanted, but the color was very pretty on and didn’t make me look like I had just been dragged out of the ocean.

The fiancée keeps reminding me how I said I didn’t want a dress because I hate how they make me look, and how now I’m saying I do. I don’t think that I want to wear a pant suit to my wedding, or a skirt and blouse I’d wear to an interview.  I’m sure his family expects me to wear a traditional white wedding dress, especially his grandmothers, but it just isn’t me.

And, after seeing myself in that full lighting I’ve decided to work out at home. I’ve brought out the yoga mat, the big tone ball, and today I brought out the stepper and did that for 20 minutes. I’m going to try to be better and stretch, do some yoga, and try my stretches on the tone ball hopefully every day. I have to do something to deal with this client who sees me every week and takes every bit of strength I have. I will not let my body break down because of one client, I’m going to try to make it stronger, and massage smarter. Plus, maybe I can get myself down to a smaller size before the wedding. I doubt it, but it can’t hurt to try to tone myself and working out should help me with my endurance with massaging.

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1 Comment

  1. Work that core girl. once you feel good on the inside you’ll shine so bright on the outside. & look like a hot bride (:


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