Is it a form of Betrayal?

I can’t shake this feeling, this feeling of wrongness, and a sort of sadness, and a kind of betrayal that I feel. And, it just doesn’t make me feel right, and my conscience is all worked up about the whole thing too. It all started today telling my manager the wedding date, and then her immediately telling me to let her know the dates right now so I could get the time off.

Which made me feel terrible and horrible at the same time.

I thought they would give me a hard time with the dates off, but right in front of me my manager (who is the owner) took off all the days, four days off of work, without even hesitating. And, I know every time I’ve asked for off they’ve given me, and even times where something medical has come up (like my lower back strain and not being able to move) they’ve understood and have helped me. I feel the lowest of the low for not telling them, for the thought of having to search for another job, and at the idea of leaving them.

I don’t want to leave them, but I have to. It’s not an excuse, it’s not like a get out of jail free card for me. It’s just my work has become my second home. My co-workers have become like family to me. I love them and working with them makes my job easier, and more fun, and sometimes more difficult depending on the day, yet in the end I still love them. My massage room is my sanctuary and my working dungeon at the same time.

I don’t know if people from another area, the Salon/Spas I will have to interview with will ever accept me like I’m accepted at my job. I’m not sure if they will want to hire me because I have never lived there before and I don’t have experience working where I’ll be moving.

I need to keep it secret until 2 weeks before I have to leave. I’m not telling a soul, but I can’t help the sinking feeling when I talk about my wedding. Because I’m going to have move and leave my work around that time, and I don’t want to face it. It’ll be an opening for a different opportunity, and a new adventure in my life … yet, I love where I work, and I feel like somehow I’m betraying them.

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2 Comments

  1. Don’t feel that way. They will understand. You are leaving them because you and your husband are moving due to his job. They will understand.
    Talk to them. If they are good people and see that you are, they will understand. They might even help you find a job!

    Reply
    • It’s hard, because I have seen people come and go and even if you move out of state if you let them know you’ll be leaving your hours can be cut and they try to book the new clients to someone else. It is true it’s not my decision, and I am moving for him, so I think when I do tell them hopefully they’ll understand. Any help in getting a job afterwards is always welcome too!

      Reply

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