Up-rooted

I’ve had a whole weekend of feeling up-rooted. On Thursday night the man tells me that us moving away is, yet again, a prime probability.  The forces within his work are clicking, and falling together, but just out of alignment. They don’t tell anyone anything and there isn’t a soul who knows if their job is up in jeopardy, if they will have one, if they will get a job but then sign something that says they will be cycled out of the job within 3-4 years. And, the moving away thing actually might give him the opportunity to move up and progress further while if he stays here they will just put him in a career box and within 3-4 years might just give him the boot.

The honest truth is I don’t really want to move. I have my family here, my work here, and my life here. But, if it’s what I need to do that’s best for him, that gives him the opportunity to stay within the company and not get phased out, but not only that, be able to move up the ladder, it’s what I gotta do. It’s the sacrifice I have to make, we have to make.

Or, so, this is what I keep telling myself. He may still not get the move away position even if he contacts them, but if he doesn’t, he definitely doesn’t get it. If we wait then this will be gone and he’ll be given the slim pickings they’ve been talking about.

I’ve given him the okay to apply for it, to go after the this one job that if they accept him, we are moving. And, I don’t know how I’m going to have the strength to deal with it. He would move down first without me, and then on my days off I’d fly back and forth interviewing for jobs because I can’t keep my sanity if I’m not working. I’m just so weird like that, plus I want to have my own in-come coming in.

It’s just I miss him so much when he’s gone, he’s supposed to be gone on business not just once this month, but twice. It’s weird but I almost get really home sick for him.

Then, I received a card from one of my long-time, repeat clients and I was completely surprised. All day I had been thinking about leaving, and the possibility of it, so I was in a funk I couldn’t quite shake and I was just trying to avoid everyone. She got me at the end of my day and I opened it up and it was a three-year anniversary card. I mean, how sweet is that? I opened it up and looked down at it, my eyes darted up to hers, and then I just started choking up and almost crying. She had been seeing me ever since I started working, and she got me one of the sweetest gifts I have ever gotten from a client. On a day I was just fighting to stay afloat.

There is just one person who knows about the man’s work situation and what it might mean, and I’ve been avoiding her too. My mom was told about it and immediately went back to checking out salons/spas in the area that we’d be moving to. It’s just everything is up in the air so I’m the same way. My heart just goes out to my fiancée, he does a great job, and works so hard, and not only does he not know what is going to happen, but all of the other people who work for this company. He just keeps working, even on his off days, and tries his best.

He is the bread-winner and I am more of the… butter winner.

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2 Comments

  1. Hang in there girl. And keep me posted.

    Reply
    • I’m hanging as best as I can and I will keep you guys posted. I just worry about his job a lot and don’t know where we are going to end up by the end of this … except eventually back together if he has to move. I have to get a job first though if we do move, I gotta keep myself busy while he’s working.

      Reply

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