Test runs aren’t the most fun!

I have this problem that I will fully admit. And it goes totally with a stereotype, which I hate, and it goes totally against my predisposed genetic capabilities that both my brother, and my mother have been bestowed.

I can’t read a map, I can’t find a place without driving to it in a “test run” beforehand.

My mother and my brother have the genetic capabilities of a GPS entwined into their DNA. Get them lost and they will find a way out. My mother doesn’t even need a map, she just keeps driving and she eventually finds where she meant to go all along. As if being lost for a little bit was part of them plan because, bam, there she is at her destination! She keeps on telling me it will kick in and my inherited GPS in my DNA will turn on and I’ll be just like them.

Highly unlikely, I just can’t be. It’s the same reason why math is so difficult for me. It’s that whole right brain vs. left brain. Maps just look like a bunch of squiggly lines to me. If there’s some landmarks in it, that makes it easier, but I remember every place I’ve ever went to by memory. Not by street name, not by North, East, West, and South, because I don’t even know which direction I’m going in. It’s all by landmarks and the memory of how I got there. If I try to go in a different way than what I remember I will also most likely get lost. You can’t give me verbal directions because that still doesn’t make sense to me.

I need to be there before to know it. If I have been to a location before I find it 75% of the time just from that one test run I did. I say this because this weekend is a continuing ed class not at my work, and at someplace I’ve never been before, and so today, all of today, is just going to be me doing a very long test run. My mother of course has to come with me because she is my GPS.

She is also a backseat driver even when she’s in the passenger seat so I can hear her go, “Slow down, speed up, watch out for that car, I’m hot, I’m cold, are we there yet?”  She’s generally better if you put her in the passenger seat than the backseat, but she has definite control issues so she doesn’t like not being the one in control of where you are going. You can never see a better example than when you do have her in the car and she’s not driving, because she gets very paranoid and tries to hop in the driver’s seat when you get out of the car and you have your head turned.

I guess I can say I’m somewhat like her. I’m doing the test run so I don’t have to carpool and be trapped in the car and poked to talk and not have control of when I leave after we’re done with the class. I just want to be on my own, meet up, do it, head back home. Oh, and not get lost … that’s the plan.

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  1. Me too… I can’t read a map for shit…. thats why I remember every place I been too.
    I am always scared to get lost.

    • I wonder if we are like dyslexic but instead of for words we just can’t figure out those squiggly lines? I get lost, pick up my phone, and then scream at the poor person who answered it how I don’t know what I’m doing and for them to come save me. Which is, of course, impossible, because I don’t even know where I’m at!


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