Usefulness equates productiveness

There is something about my work that gets me really frustrated. Weekends I am slammed, murdered somewhat with the physical work and I have to resurrect myself to do it all over again and then get a breather buffer day before I hop back into it. My weekday tends to be slow, much slower than my weekend so I have sporadic clients. I am a self-sufficient person and will keep myself busy with what needs to be done without you asking me. Just don’t punish me for what I don’t have control over, which is not having clients come in. It’s not like I’m sitting back there, twiddling my thumbs, complaining about how bored I am (which is what A LOT of people sometimes do).

I make the best out of a situation with what I’m given. Yet, it’s still not enough. I am still sent home.

There are many people who I can’t even count when they have gotten sent home. It’s like, impossible. But, me? Not so impossible, very probable. I feel actual anxiety waiting for them to track me down and say those dreaded words: “You can go home now.” What if I don’t want to go home? What if, since I’m part-time, nearly full-time, I need every hour I can get? And no, not breaking my hands/wrists/arms doing chair massages until I literally injure myself. I can’t do it without hurting like I can with a table, there is no oil, no leverage, no using my body. Just me squeezing my hands until they cry for mercy.

Yet, what I do besides the physical labor of me massaging I feel like is not seen as being productive enough in their eyes.

It’s just that I hate feeling like I’m not wanted, a burden, not beneficial if I don’t have clients. I understand you need to make money, but I also need to save my body. And massaging 24/7 is not “working smart.” It’s just very frustrating to be chased out of work like you are a witch and they running after you with burning stakes trying to get you the hell out of there. Oh well, it’s what they do, right? I’ll be working this weekend so I am already 90% or so booked so I can be alone in my room all day with my clients doing what I’m supposed to do.

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5 Comments

  1. Just keep doing your best. People often complain or push because they’re unhappy and they want to take out some of their unhappiness on someone else.

    Reply
    • I love what I do so even when they have that glimmer in their eye that “when I get you alone, you are going home!” I still work hard. And, of course, hope I fill up so I can stay. I do think it’s unhappiness and trying to push it on me, so I will just try to ignore them and not let it get to me … easier said than done!

      Reply
  2. Unfortunately that is what most employers are like. They see their employees as $$$-making machines and that’s it. I think it’s incredibly unfair to get sent home if there aren’t many clients. You still take the time to get out of bed in the morning and go to work. It’s not worth the hassle unless it’s for a full day’s work. If clients didn’t come in, it’s not your problem. You still performed your duty! Did you ever complain about it? Cos usually the ones who complain the less are the ones that bear the brunt of it the most! The better an employee you are, the worse you are treated!

    Reply
    • I know it’s the way it is, the nature of the beast, and the only way to make it different is to make my own business where I, myself, am the boss. But in this economy, no thanks, and I do really love and enjoy the interplay I have between my teammates and working with them. That’s how I’ve always felt is a full days work is just what I ask for, especially since I just have those certain days and I could have more hours with picking up another day but wouldn’t want the same situation. I don’t complain, but I’m not exactly doing a happy dance because they sent me home. 98% are excited about it, they’re glad to be going home early, I’m like the 2% that wished I could have been allowed to stick around.

      Reply
  3. Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my qu.toitnse..unsil now.

    Reply

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