In another life you were in my career

I swear sometimes the man was a massage therapist in another life. When he massages me it’s just as good, and sometimes even better, than a professional massaging me. I have massaged many, many women and one of the main complaints about their boyfriend, fiancée, husband, seems to be that they can’t massage at all. They are terrible at it, ranging from too hard, to too soft, to not giving a damn at all and basically doing a terrible job just to get out of it. This is why they come and see me, because I’m a professional, and know that massaging a muscle is not literally muscling your way into it, it’s much more than that. There’s a reason why we go through school, learn all those techniques, do Pathology, Ethics, as well as a number of other subjects.

But he is just so good. And the night before he even was talking about doing stretches and range of motion (R.O.M.) tests like a true professional.

The man was just taking a little too much pleasure in finding my worst spots and digging into them. I tried not to show pain, and attempted to cover my face so he couldn’t read it, but he was getting the worst muscles to work on and just working them like you wouldn’t believe. There were points in it I’d try to crawl away from him only to get him yelling at me, “Breathe! This will be better once we’re done. Just breathe! You call yourself a therapist?”

He was taking a little too much delight in it. If a certain spot I’d stay a little too poker faced he’d move to something else and I’d be hyperventilating and whimpering at the same time. The techniques he used on me weren’t his own and the torture spots were some he had learned from visiting his own massage therapist at the chiropractor. She seemed to just tell him to breathe through it while he was crying, so it seemed like he was taking revenge on his poor fiancée massage therapist, which would be me. I’m more of a relaxation massage with deeper techniques, so I had never done what he was trying out on me on any of my clients.

And, if my clients ask me to lay off the pressure, I ease up. The man just saw it as an opportunity yet again to tell me: “Breathe.” I probably needed the intense work on my pec minor (which is right around where the collar-bone is, right below it) but it was definitely not the normal deep shoulder massage he gives me where its strong pressure, and I don’t have to crawl away.

Then, he got all professional and sat up. He told me to stand up. Then, he held his elbows next to his sides and tried to move his arm over his head in the bent elbow position. Then, he showed me another stretch where you reach back with your arm. And, another one where you try to bring your shoulder blades so that they are touching. Each stretch I did wrong and he had to correct me, and eventually he gave up on teaching me. I’m about the worst person to be taught, I need to see it, hear it, feel it, and have all the senses included or else then it’s impossible for me to pick it up. I’m a very hard student. That’s why I understand when some of my clients may not get the stretches I tell them at first because I wouldn’t get it until after being shown fifteen times or so.

I swear he was a massage therapist in another life of his. He’s too good at it and delights a little too much in finding those ‘goody’ spots and just making you say Uncle and then diving in even deeper. To say the least I’m still sore today from it.