I’ve already started to get my Christmas presents for my family and the man… is this bad? Should I be faulted for a false start for starting it even before the end of Halloween? For someone who isn’t the biggest fan of Christmas I tend to start my shopping very, very early. So early, in fact, that by the time December rolls around I tend to have all my gifts in a basket and I’m ready.

My brother will be doing what I normally do for Christmas… going somewhere else for it. He will be traveling from December 21st through actual Christmas day. The man wants me to get time off the day after Christmas so we can go down to see his family. I know he really wants me to try, but I’ve already got that time off in December to go down to Las Vegas with my mom.

They were already to spit fire at me for that, they might actually chase me around screaming, “NO!” for asking for another day off in our time where we prep for it months in advance. Holiday season is big stuff where I’m at, and that time, and the time afterwards, is our “busy season.”

And you know what my Achilles’s heel is and we got the form in for that too. Our product order form is in and I’m adding, subtracting, adding, taking it away, for the products I want and it’s even more stress because we still don’t know about his interview for the move-away job. I’m needing to get more stuff than usual and before it’s run out since I need a big supply with it if… well, you know, the move actually happens.

Tis’ the season to splurge but I’m still fighting it.

I like getting dirty… is that okay?

I remember one of my first interviews that I had. I’m rather… well, introverted at times and when I was younger it was even more so. When I first started interviewing they’d ask me, “Where do you want to work?” and I’d just answer back, “Ummm… wherever I’m not with people.” That’s how I got into the whole dog grooming thing. It was the only job you were off by yourself, doing your thing, but it turned out to be quite a lot of people work. You’d answer phones while holding onto the dog you were still working on so they wouldn’t leap off and choke themselves.

Certain dogs like to try to commit suicide at the groomer. I swear that is the point of it, because they will leap so many times off of that table when it’s at its highest, you drag them back, and then they wind up falling off the side all over again.

For my first interview (and the one I got hired on) there was a man and a woman interviewing.

I should not interview with men. In retrospect, I was a little too much with it.

Guy: This job requires you to get dirty a lot. (dog grooming, that is).

Me: I like getting dirty. I’m just a dirty girl.

Guy: Part of the uniform is wearing a smock.

Me: Do I have to wear anything underneath it?  (seriously… I said this).

I might have said a few other flirtatious things too. I thought he was kind of cute, and the woman there wasn’t exactly asking the questions so I was mainly just answering the questions he asked. I can’t believe I got hired for the job, looking back, with my horrible interview skills and my goofy answers to the questions. I showed up on my first day at work on the wrong day wearing the wrong clothes. My soon-to-be manager looked at me like I had two heads.

I don’t blame her, it was my mistake, and later on we laughed out about it. She’s still to this day one of my favorite managers I’ve ever had. I was definitely spoiled by her, and couldn’t ask for a better experience for having a manager. She was very understanding, never raised her voice at me, and always tried to get two sides of the situation. My first manager ever was kind, funny, and she was great to work with. If I thought I could survive dog grooming I would have stuck with it, but it’s more exhausting than massage… and that is saying a lot.

My interview skills have improved and I’ve learned it’s all about knowing about the game and how to play it so you win. It was still hard, even as I got better and more confident in myself, to get those second interviews. Plus, we have to give a free massage as part of the ‘technical’ within a review. They’ll almost always call you back so you can give a free massage to someone. And doing free massages leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh, and what was your worst interview? 

So, what will you bring to the table?

The man had his interview today, he was up against 3 others who are going for the same job. Which, I say are better odds than like 20-50 people who can be the job situation lots of times because it’s hard getting a job out there. But, his is within the company and he’s a little less anxious and nervous, though now probably worked up about our move if he gets it.

I can’t stand interviews. I feel like I don’t interview very well. I have an odd personality and this cannot be restrained even when I try to interview. Plus, I’m a little too honest of a person so this can affect the whole giving them what they want to hear thing that you have to do within interviews. Every spa is like its own culture and luckily I stepped into where I work as soon as they opened so that I could be a part of the bricks that make up the place. Instead of being like the furniture they put in later, I could know where, what, when, and get in on the cliques just as they were forming.

Though, I’m still not a click person really. More of a loner than anything, but at least I know the inside jokes and if anyone wants to find anything in the place they mainly go to me because I know it like the back of my hand.

He really wants the job that will be having us move.

I’m not sure if I’d be ready to move, but I guess we will find out. It’s all just scary.

I need to be strong because you need it

I was told by one of my co-workers that she was going to see the doctor about something. And, she got her results today. It was pretty much one of the worst case scenarios, she has a tumor, and it’s in her brain, and I kind of thought of everything else it could have been. But, when I saw her today and she was off work yesterday I knew it couldn’t be good. The thing is I really do like her, so finding this out hit me like a ton of bricks. I had this horrified expression on my face which must have been so bad that she told me to stop before she cried even more.

So, I sucked it up and sucked the tears back into the ducts. I kidded around while inside I was spinning. I’m needing to be strong for everyone, for my fiancée, for my family, for my career, for the unforeseeable future that may be coming. Yet, for this day, that strength meter was pretty much tipped a little too much and I felt like I was fighting the need to break down all day. The day didn’t help because instead of being busy, I wasn’t, so I couldn’t hide in my room, massage, and not come out until the end of my shift where I can just go home and then process through it.

She’s someone I’m close to, as close as you can get to me. I’m holding everyone at a distance and keeping that up for a while. This is my battle to fight and not anyone else’s, but I let her know if she needs me to step in or lean on or anything that I’m there for my co-worker. There’s not much I can do, except let her know that the support is there.

The Difficult Decision Delayed

The man has been all worked up about the decision that may have to be made about his work and us moving. We’ve known for a while that it is possible, but having him have the interview makes it a lot more real for us. So, he is mainly worried about me and how I’m going to live without my family being nearby.

As much as I complain about them, and as much as they drive me crazy sometimes, I do love my family, depending on the day. They are like my support system, and even though my mother has all the secrets to driving me crazy, and pushes it sometimes (all the time) I still look to her for advice.

I’ve never lived without my family being close to me, physically. The man is afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it.

I know it’s better for me to reassure him that I can, and I try to do this, yet the truth is I don’t know how I’d deal with it. And, as much as my work can be tough on me, or I get overbooked, or whatever the problem, I still love working there. Looking for another job, just the idea of it, is a huge, huge stress. I have a rather difficult personality that either people get me, or they don’t. And if they don’t, I’m not willing to change who I am to make them deal with me better. I’m a rather goofy, fun-loving person, who is both determined, and passionate, about what she does for a career.

Even when he does get the interview who knows when they will contact him about it. He’s trying so hard, working on his off time, always worrying about his work and even on our vacation to Arizona he was still working. He tries to be there 24/7 for his job, yet it’s so much work that he’s behind. The man is leaving again for another business trip, and at the end of it he’ll be doing the interview. We just gotta be strong through all of these trials and changes and rely on each other.

If we had to move I’d try my best to make it work. It’s just not going to be easy in the least and I’d need to have a job first before I moved. Then, I’d maybe try to do some volunteer work on the side to keep me busy and maybe help me not miss my family as much.

You are the uninvited leper

Some things that gets my goat can be as simple as a wedding where everyone is invited… except for you. And this has happened to me on many, many an occasion. Major plus of this is I don’t have to waste any money on a gift or present, so good riddance. Minus is that if it’s a work wedding (which there are women getting married/having babies here like clockwork) then I get to hear about it over and over again like for 2 weeks. Which, admittedly, is quite annoying after the 10th time of hearing it. If you like the person anyways it’s not too bad, but I’ve been to only two weddings in my entire life.

Whoa, Sarah, why wonder you aren’t all gung ho about this planning a wedding thing, right?

I think that either everyone should be invited to it (which busts my budget) or no one should be invited to it if I’m not inviting anyone else besides a couple of people. I don’t want to pick and chose and exclude. So, it comes down to immediate family and that’s it. I would think that would make it less of a headache in the long run, but with the man’s job and the venue I’ve picked I couldn’t plan anything even if I really wanted to. It’s all about a waiting game.

Have you met our Star? Here’s our star!

One of the things I’ve done recently is another class. This whole month is filled with classes for us to go to, continuing education to do, and it is just a busy month. Which, I don’t mind too much because this whole month is the man being gone for business trips so it keeps me occupied and gives me something to do. This class was more prepared than the previous one I had and I was one of the first people who got there.

So, I got introduced to one of the instructors and it was pretty funny, and cute, how the manager didn’t just introduce me, but also told them what I’ve been doing lately. How I’ve been working hard on retail, I’ve been writing notes all the time and how that has helped, and it was just really nice with how she was pointing out all of the positive things I’ve been doing. It felt kind of like a proud mother thing she was doing so I was trying to fight a smile when she the manager was talking. It just had me feeling really good, even though the instructor was like, “Yeah, okay, alrighty.”

I did enjoy the class and thought that it was interesting. I think that I got more out of it then the last massage class I had because there was information I could use personally with my career, interactions with people, and on myself as well. The massage class was common sense, stuff we knew, and some other stuff thrown in there which was very interesting, but a little harder to use with my career.

One of the things that we learned is What kind of personality are you? There is the really emotional kind who will burst into tears if you look at them funny, the analytic kind, the one who is all about common sense, and the dynamic (which is all about gut reaction) kind of person. Which one do you think you are?

Now, with me, I’m not simple, or easy, and my personality, or how I learn, definitely gets involved in that. I end up being a mixture of everything in one. And, to learn I need auditory, touch, and visual all in one. That’s why I tend to be such a hard learner, and so when I teach, I was remember to be patient, repeat the steps, and ask them if they need me to show it a different way to make it work.

Drinking for me and myself

I went out drinking tonight, met up with a bunch of girls, but I just realized even more that I am not a group person. I am a 1-on-1 person. Especially when you go out drinking and there comes these people who you’ve met like once or twice and they have all of these inside ‘jokes’ they talk about so you never seem to be a part of the conversation. You are on the fringe, looking in, an outsider, so you keep on drinking to hopefully find anything funny. And, to find their babble about blah, blah, somewhat interesting. Or, drink your way to get through it.

I needed to drink. There’s been so much stress with me, and mainly the man who I’ve been so worked up without anyone knowing. His job has been a mess, and he has an interview within his job that would have him move if he got it.

Which, at least he got an interview. With his job here they still haven’t so we don’t know what’s going on and he got an interview for within his job but it would have him move and it’s going to be for the next week. So, he is all worked up and I have to be supportive and strong because he is scared and nervous, plus anxious, and I’m trying my best to help him through it. I’ve missed him a lot and the only people who know that he’s gone is my mom and my brother.

It’s just that it’s been like a year and a half or so of not knowing. And, now, it feels like things are coming down to the wire…. maybe.

The get together wasn’t awful, but it just wasn’t as much fun as I have with just one of the gals when I take them out for their birthday or we just go just the two of us. And, lots of people out tonight were playing with their phones and the conversations were going everywhere, but basically I couldn’t follow them, and it was all about just enjoying the drinking as best as I could. And, I made sure I didn’t have too much, yet just enough.

Will (literally) work for food!

Don't worry, I'll eat your scraps...

Okay, so I was a little spoiled a little bit ago at work where I gave out two massages to two of the gals at work. I was extremely bored, didn’t have too busy of a day, so took them back in my room and did some work on the table. Well, with the one gal she ended up getting me lunch, which I was so excited about that I think my eyes were about ready to pop out of my head. She told me she’d get me lunch and then I heard one of them say, “Whoa, Sarah, maybe you should sit down…” It’s just I don’t treat myself to too much when it comes to food and I basically never go out to get lunch. I bring in frozen food meals, thankyouverymuch.

I lucked out with some lunch, but then I promised one of the girls I’d give her a tune-up massage after she got off from work so I did a little something something for her. And, in return, she got me a cupcake. But, not just any cupcake, like chocolate or vanilla, but a special kind…

A s’mores cupcake, I absolutely love marshmallow. The only way to make it better is to mix it with peanut butter!

After all of this showering of food I kind of felt like the whole “Will work for food” was literally me. I was so excited and happy, because normally I’m the one getting little gifts and special things for my girls at work when they aren’t feeling that well. None of them know what I’m going through personally (my fiancée’s job, he’s basically gone all this week, coming home for a little bit, leaving for next week, his job is in jeopardy, we may be moving, he is totally stressed out and scared, the wedding is on hold until we know what’s happening, etc, etc.) but it was a nice little pick-me-up. Especially since I was going home and ate my lunch I got for dinner that night.

Oh, and today I had the most awesome pumpkin cake with the most delish homemade frosting… like, ever! Fortunately, it was awesomely tasty, unfortunately I couldn’t stop at one slice and ate about four of them. My bad. Then my stomach felt like I dropped a brick in it after eating all of those slices and massaging afterwards. It was so worth it though, and if I could do it all over again, I’d probably eat another slice.

The List of “I want this… now!”

Restaurants are a must for the list!

Every Christmas, like clockwork, my brother makes his needs wants well-known for what me and my mom should get him… which ends up mostly being me. I feel somewhat bad for him because his birthday is right around when Christmas is. Oh, and the man’s birthday is very near to Christmas too, what a coincidence, huh? I swear, my brother and the man have more qualities similar than they’d like to admit. Part of those qualities is being very difficult to buy for.

My brother gives me the list of gift cards to buy for him. This includes a grocery store gift card, a fast food chain gift card, and last year I got him a nice restaurant gift card that could be used at multiple locations.

He then used that gift card I got him on his other sister. I feel a bit of a burn from that, but will still end up getting him a ton of stuff any ways.

This year I already got one item from the list. He wanted a Queen, black, plain sheet for his bed. He keeps asking for this sheet but I refuse to give this to him until his birthday. My mother already gave away her furry Alpaca feeling blanket she got for him, I will not cave in beforehand. He won’t die without it and that means one less thing to get on his ‘List.’ If you try to get anything that is not on the list he will stick his nose up at it and you will regret spending your money on the object. And, most likely, you will stupidly take off the tags so now there’s no way of getting that money back.

The man doesn’t give me a list, but there’s an unseen ‘list’ to adhere to for him too. Pretty things, but they have to be his style, and he told me a few electronic things like a steamer which I’m not exactly feeling. I did find something cute for our anniversary and I’m thinking of going someplace for it too. The question is, where to go?

And, I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about my brother and the man. I’m not the best to get gifts for anyways. The problem with me is that I don’t ask for anything, and I don’t really want/need anything. I hate asking for things even if it is a gift and I think that anything the man comes up with is perfect, my brother takes my not asking for anything as a loophole in the system. He has to be told some kind of gift card he can get for me or else then he ends up getting nothing because he can’t think up of anything. Or, well, I’ll give him that excuse.

The last gift I got my brother that he was super excited about was this face cleanser from my work. He immediately hopped in the shower, used the products, and came up saying, “My face feels all tingly.” Well, I don’t think it’s supposed to tingle, but he was pretty dang excited about it that I let him say what he wanted.