My gift wrapping is as flawed as I am

You watch me wrap a gift, and I struggle with it, and add more than enough scotch tape to try to fix my mistakes and this can be a good metaphor for myself. I’m flawed, and sometimes I can’t do things perfectly, but I sure will put a hell of a lot of scotch tape on the situation to try to mend it. It won’t be as good as if I did everything with perfection in my touch, yet I think it’ll hold together.

Key word here is: I think it’s going to hold together.

My mother wraps like she’s a professional at it. The man wraps gifts with a mischievous air that shows through when you start to unwrap it. He hides the gifts inside of paper inside of a box that has another box with it. He places scotch tape directly on the present itself so even after you’ve detached the tons of gift wrap you still are picking off the tape with your nail.

Or, in my case, my lack of nail. My little nub nails, I can’t grow them out because of my career. The first time I spent Christmas with him I couldn’t believe the scheming he went through with each gift. You had to basically tear apart the wrapping paper with your teeth and he seemed to use tougher tape that didn’t give up the fight that easily.

You had to sort of ‘win’ your gift through persistence and a whole lot of swearing. As he gleefully watched you and couldn’t keep his laughing at bay when you start screaming out, “Really? Seriously?? What were you thinking gift wrapping this?!” And now I know what he was thinking, he was thinking about my classic reaction to it as I refused help (a.k.a.- a knife or scissors) and used my hands/teeth to get into it. Don’t worry, I’ve gotten back at his mischievous wrapping by getting clever about my own presents.

My mother has actually tried to fix my gift wrapping. I never do it right, and this gift I wrapped would be no different that she’d go, “No, no, no, that’s not right! Let me fix it…” But, with my moving out, she won’t be around to make sure they are extra perfect. They will just have to be imperfect, like me. And I will just put a ton of scotch paper on it to make it ‘work’ even though I’m making it worse.

Since it’s not a gift for the fiancée, I won’t try to make it extra difficult with putting it inside of another thing and putting the scotch tape on the object itself. Though, I still think my gifts aren’t as easy to get into as they should be.

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5 Comments

  1. I suck at gift wrapping. I have had lots of practice and… still I suck at it.
    It looks like the kids wrapped it. And surprisingly they still do a better job then me.

    Reply
    • I think it’s a genetic thing we have or don’t have to be really great at wrapping gifts, or just making a massive ball of scotch tape and glitter.
      Oh, and that’s too funny the kids are better at it! A drunken monkey could be better at wrapping gifts than me.

      Reply
  2. I’m impaired in the wrapping department as well. I’ve gotten a little better with the patient instruction of a friend, but I don’t fret about it so much anymore. In a little while, that paper’s going to be done and gone, whereas what it protected will hopefully remain for a long time yet to come. True for presents, and hopefully for people. 🙂

    Reply
    • See, I thought it was just me with my wrapping disability with it. I always tried to redo it over and over again because my mom would see it, take it from me, and re-wrap it her way without any wrinkles, crinkles, or problems. But, you make a very true point, it’s just going to be torn off in a second anyways and be thrown away so why fret about it too much? I love how you say that what was protected will hopefully remain that way for a long time to come, true for presents and you would hope people too!

      Reply
  1. My gift wrapping is as flawed as I am « Rub Hub: Tip me or Else… | punalurpaper.com

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