Goodbyes aren’t my thing

I’m not a fan of saying goodbye to anyone. I’m even worse at keeping in contact with people, which means… I don’t keep in contact with people I knew before. It’s just so much easier to fall out of touch. I’m not afraid to admit I’m a loner and that’s the way I’ve been since I was a 5-year-old up until now. It’s easier to distance myself from people and not put myself out there. It’s part of the reason why I was so mean to my fiancée when I first met him, because somehow I didn’t want to fall for him.

And, well, you know how that turned out for me. I saw him the second night, couldn’t contain my goofy smile, and ended up giving him my phone number on the 3rd night after we met. Another day later we were on our first date, and I knew I was head over heels even with that first date. I never was a believer in love at first sight but when it actually happened to me I couldn’t even deny it. The moment I met him I was smitten, and that had never happened to me before and definitely scared me. I’ve had to fight myself especially in the beginning not to not push him away, because this is what I always did.

So, thinking about one of the estheticians leaving I’m trying to think of what I can say for goodbye. If I should take her out for a private going away thing, but I’m not sure what to do.

I’ve gotten better with pushing myself to try to be closer to the people I care about. I took one of my little esthetician buddies out for her birthday and we had ourselves a fabulous time. I’m already planning to take another one of my spa gals out to her favorite restaurant to eat for her birthday as well ( in February, which is lot of time to plan and save!). I haven’t told the February birthday girl what I’ve got planned for her, but I’m thinking I’ll keep it a surprise.

Now, with the gal who is leaving, she asked me if I’d come to visit her. I said yeah, I would, yet failed to mention how nervous I am about getting time off for my wedding/honeymoon and once I’m done with that in 2012 all of my time off will be used up. No matter how many years I’ve been there they only like to give a total of five days off a year. And especially hate giving two days off in a row to you. Even if those days you are lucky to even get 2 clients in a day.

The esthetician who is leaving has been a huge help when I’ve worked with her. I hate asking for help at my work, but lots of times she’ll already be there giving me a hand. We’ve had arguments, and butting of heads.  She’s actually the gal I went to her baby shower for and get her a Mommy Survival Kit and somethings for the baby, of course. And, where they played ‘Pin the Sperm on the Egg’:

She is, of course, a mom, so I can’t just take her after work and do something. I’ve got to plan it out, and she and I hardly see each other because the shifts we work together I’m so busy that I hardly have enough time to get out of my massage cave and see the light of day. These are all excuses, I know, but I’m not sure what I want to do. I kind of want to write her a card, because I’m better in the written word rather than spoken, saying how I feel and everything. Give her a little goodbye gift too. I always knew she was going to leave, just didn’t know when, but I don’t know quite what to do.

Goodbyes just aren’t my thing. I generally avoid them, and I don’t know what we should do if I decide I do want to take her out. I’m a little stumped and conflicted about the whole thing, to tell ya the truth. I think I got a good gift for her, and a handmade card I did, but besides that, not too sure about anything else.

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