Black Sheep

I was always the Black Sheep in the family, even as a kid, with my father’s family. Even though I was the only girl, and the youngest, this didn’t seem to matter. I think my grandmother wanted me to be a boy, because she certainly liked the boys a heck of a lot more than me. She was at my throat even before my teens as a little kid, my hair wasn’t right, I wasn’t pretty enough, my personality was wrong, I bit my nails and she hated that, I was too picky of an eater.

My grandmother seemed to think of it as a challenge when I was a kid to try and break me of my pickiness when it came to food. Obviously she, nor my family, had any success with that because I am still a picky eater. My grandmother once kept me at the table all night long and said I couldn’t leave it until I ate all my food. She tried to force feed me it, which didn’t work out because I certainly wasn’t going to open my mouth to have her shove it in there. The woman seemed to enjoy the idea of ‘fixing’ me and got very frustrated when I stubbornly stayed the same.

I always felt out of place, like I didn’t belong ever since I had to attend every single family gathering. I’d sit by myself with a book or my CD player while my cousins screwed around doing boy stuff. I was never right, always wrong, with the way I dressed, the way I carried myself, so around my father’s family I kept quiet and didn’t talk at all. Because whenever I did talk I’d be berated or ignored so I kinda got used to it. It’s why today I refused to be anyone but myself even if someone gives me a funny look. I’ve lived with that since I could remember, so I am more than happy to dance in someone’s face rather than to stop being me and how I am.

I’m relieved to be accepted by the fiancée’s family and for them to take me as I am. They are a hoot and a half and a lot of fun to be with, plus I feel welcome with them. It’s why that I don’t put myself through dealing with my father’s family, now that I’m old enough to separate myself from it. I’m more than happy to go down to where his family is and spend Christmas with them, and I can see how much they love him too. His family is very different from mine, but that definitely isn’t a bad thing.

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2 Comments

  1. You are a very strong girl!
    And for all the reasons the fiancee loves you I am sure his family sees it!

    Reply
    • Aww, thank you! I still am not quite so sure why he fell for me, but he did, so I’m happy to keep a hold of him!

      Reply

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