Change my name, change my name

When the fiancee and I hadn’t gotten engaged and were talking about things one thing he said was that I probably wouldn’t wear my ring at work (which is true, I don’t, I lost my poor ring that one time and that’s enough for me) and the second thing was that he said I wouldn’t take his last name. Which, the second, isn’t true. I don’t mind my last name but it does symbolize me being connected to my father and his family. And, well, I like the whole idea of sort of ‘new start’ with taking on the fiancée’s name.

Plus, the last name would be shorter so it would be quicker to sign things, win-win! And, I wouldn’t have to spell it out too, like I do with my last name every time, I think it’s pretty easy to figure out how to spell his last name. I’m definitely very happy that his family gets along with me, his mom loves me, and I don’t have to worry about a crazy in-law pushing her way into our personal business.

That’s my Mother’s job, of course, to enter into our lives and be over bearing.  I love my mom, but I do recognize and see that she does try to be controlling and I just know I need to keep my eye on it.

I almost got engaged to my ex-boyfriend years ago, but had issues with his family, especially with his mother, entering into his life constantly and having a lot of control over him. He also had commitment problems, and was manipulative, cried a lot, and held things against me months and months after it happened. I never quite felt safe and protected with him, definitely not in the way I feel safe and protected with my fiancée. I knew that my ex wasn’t the one for me, so I broke things off before it could be messed up even more. We were with each other for 2 years and it was a long distance relationship, and I don’t regret the time I spent with him.

I knew that the fiancée was the man for me the moment I saw him… which is why I was a jackass to him the first night we met. I wanted to push him away, with watching my mother and father’s messed up relationship I just didn’t want to get in one again. Plus, with my own failed relationships, and issues with men, I certainly didn’t want to trust and open myself up to anyone. I’m happy to enter into his family, though it may be forever or never that I ever call his mom ‘Mom’ or any of that stuff. I am just weird that way.

Of course, the whole in-laws thing is another thing completely. I feel bad for the man, my family is definitely unusually crazy, both my mother and brother are super protective of me, my brother more so than my mom in some ways. But, he seems to handle them well so that is a very good thing.

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1 Comment

  1. This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this subject last Thursday.


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