Ever had that week?

Ever had that week where you just haven’t felt that great about yourself? You’re lagging, not feeling too sexy, or pretty, or really anything? Now, change that from week, to weeks and here you have me. Work has been pretty intense with a lot of clients, which is good for money, but not so good with my body. I’ve been feeling rather gross, not too pretty, and run-down. This has equaled into less quality time with the fiancée which is kind of hard because normally I am the instigator of said quality time.

I’m stressed out on many fronts, most recently it’s my poor brother. He got dumped by his girlfriend when he went to Germany to visit her and she slept with any other guy and he ended up throwing her stuff outside the door and she basically had it in her head to break up with him beforehand. But, this would be a little more helpful if she told my brother ahead of time so he didn’t have to spend over a thousand dollars on a plane ticket, hotels, etc. He is so angry that he’s leaving early from his trip, flying standby, so he’s not home yet.

He wants to come back as soon as possible, and I’m hoping he gets back home tomorrow. He was due to be back by Wednesday, but he doesn’t speak the language, she dumped him, and he is livid… as well as he should be. We have no way of contacting him except through Facebook because he has no phone and so we are constantly trying to get in touch with him but he’s only randomly on Facebook and we are trying to get him back but if he doesn’t get on the plane tomorrow he needs to be moved to the next flight and I personally know how iffy standby is.

I feel terrible for my brother, his way with love and women has never been the best and I hate seeing his heart broken. He really thought this girl was ‘the one’ and completely and totally jumped head first into the relationship. He really is very giving, caring, and loving with the girls he’s been with and has treated them very well. Much to my surprise, I didn’t see my brother as good boyfriend material especially since he’d play ‘shark’ with me and try to drown me in any form of water. He really wants to settle down and start a family, and he just can’t find someone to share his life with.

And me, I have found that person, but I’m still scared of moving in, what an ass I can be sometimes, and though I’m planning to move in within a few months, probably in July or so, I’m still worrying about it. And I know it will work, and we’ll come across disagreements, but we’ll work through it because he and I love each other. All of my life I’ve depended only on myself, and now I have to change and rely on my fiancée, and while I’ve gotten better at this, I still am a person who likes to close up and keep everything to herself. I still, no matter how many times he says that I’m pretty, find it difficult to see what he says. Especially on days that I’ve worked and I feel icky and disgusting. Not to mention I ache from my head to my toes.

 But, I gotta make time for our quality time and making it special between us. It’s not his fault, it’s me. And, he hasn’t been feeling the best with his heel spurs and allergies, so we are quite a pair. The fiancée is leaving out-of-state for work for at least a few days so I will try to get myself in better shape. And, I’m hoping my brother will be home soon so I don’t have to worry about him.

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  1. I know what it’s like to worry about a brother. I hope you see him soon and that you can give him a big hug to help him feel better!

    • Awww, thank you, it’s definitely a lot to go through worrying about your brother. He got home okay, but I haven’t been able to spend any time with him. I’ve been working 9-10 hour days lately so I’ve just wanted to lock myself up when I’ve gotten home. Thank you for commenting!


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