It’s all your fault

We have this thing we are doing at work, which we’ve always done but it’s increased $2,000 up to around $8,000 we need to raise. This is being done through some product, some other stuff, and a walk that we need to get people to walk in and then we need to raise at least a $100 to walk in. I don’t walk… or run… and I’ve told people I don’t exactly want to do it. I think that doing my first walk I would want to do it for something I care about deeply. Like colon cancer, which affected by grandmother and took her away from me before I even got to meet her, she died before I was born. Or, other things that have affected me personally.

If we don’t raise the money through the walk, if we don’t participate, etc., etc. it will basically be all our fault and if we have to cut a check to cover it completely they said they will guarantee we won’t get any raises this year. We haven’t got any raises anyways, so I don’t appreciate a scare tactic to make me do what you want. I was thinking about asking the man to maybe do the walk with me, but to get the money would be me giving my own money to it. I have no family,(just mom, brother, who both need money most of the time) and with friends, I don’t have any friends. I keep to myself.

One of the massage therapists is leaving, which is kinda sad, since I did like the gal. She was also full-time, so they’ll be asking around to see what can be covered with her shifts. I don’t know if I want to ask to have one of her shifts personally, because I think that I may go nutty if I’m at work full-time and deal with this on such a consistent basis. I know I’ve said before that I love my work, but like any job, it has its ups, downs, and its ohmygod moments. Plus, I just love my 3 days off, Wednesdays tend to be my ‘fun’ day, and Thursdays I do errands and then come over to be with the fiancée.

I love the whole Spa setting, the look of it, the ability that I must have them step into my room and that I can get them to slow down since they move a mile a minute every day. I never thought I’d be interested in working at a Spa after I got done with massage school but it does fit me so well and feels… ‘right.’ Plus, I love my girls and 90% of where I work has to be me loving the people I work with, because if I don’t, I don’t have any problem leaving. Of course making more money would be awesome, but it’s not okay if I don’t enjoy what I do.

The man said something interesting yesterday, he said, “Honey, I think you’re happy enough” when he was talking about my work.  He’s seen me at my worst, which is mainly the weekend, where I come home, exhausted, and lock myself in the room. My weekdays I work I tend to not be as tired, but I still get pretty exhausted sometimes. But, this is career I picked, and I know I really do love it, it’s just it physically affects me.

So, I don’t know if I’ll do this walk, but I may just be guilted into it. Plus, they make us be there even if we don’t participate, and if we aren’t there, well it’s ‘frowned upon.’ I just don’t know, I wouldn’t feel right asking for money for it and just would have to give my own. And, I’ve been trying to save up my money as much as I can for the move in with the fiancée. We seem to be doing good this month with retail/services so, of course, this gets sprung at us.

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