Drink to This

Tomorrow is an unusual day for me… why? Because I will be going out after I’m done with work, and this is a rare occurrence. I’ll be going out for a baby shower party and this is even more rare and unusual because I am just not a baby person. At all. If you handed me a baby I’d probably make you wind up regretting that act of trust. It’s not to say I’d be bad on purpose, it’s just that I have always been the baby in the family so I’m not the best with handling tiny, fragile little babies. They have looked at me before and you can see on the baby’s face this question of, “Ma, what the hell is that?”

It’s like they can sense that I am not one of the many, many women who immediately begin to feel their hearts melt and their biological clocks begin to tick at the mere look/presence of a baby. That has never been programmed in me, and I know the fiancée wants kids but I say that ain’t happening for a while. A long while.

My mother has told me multiple times how she didn’t want me and didn’t want children. She also has told me multiple times how she couldn’t stand me as a child, she just did it again the day before in front of this lady and the poor woman ended up walking quickly away from me, my mother, and my brother. I just said I didn’t need to hear again how much she hated me as a kid, I’ve heard it enough as it is. And how much my brother is the favorite and I’m just… well, shit. She literally nailed it into my head two Christmas’ ago when she got drunk and told me how much she hated me and did that in front of my fiancée. You just gotta have yourself an interesting time with my family.

So, if I did become a parent I would desperately try not to turn into my mother. I’ve definitely said it more than once that I wish my mother read to me as a kid, or that someone did. My family thought I was slow when I was younger cause it took quite a few years for me to talk. I’d make it my commitment to read to them every night, and as soon as they understood it I’d read them my favorite book from my childhood, “Green eggs and ham.”

So, I ended up getting baby stuff for my co-worker and I also made her a Mommy Survival Package for her too. The Survival Box includes some bath products and a cute wine glass that is pregnancy themed. I really do hope that she likes the stuff I got her, because I ended up spending more money than I wanted to… more than $50. Which is crazy, I know, but I lost control and I think someone spiked my drink with some kind of drug that made me want to spend more. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it for why I went over the deep end with spending.

I’ve never attended a baby shower before, I sure hope I don’t make an ass out of myself. We will see, right?

Leave a comment


  1. You’ll be fine! Baby showers aren’t scary… or at least not too much. 😉

    • They had this weird game where it was like pin the tail on the donkey except it was pin the sperm on the egg. But, it was a good time!

  2. tknologlvr

     /  March 12, 2011

    Your mother is wrong! You are beautiful, intelligent, caring, and vivacious! Keep being you. I enjoy your honesty in your posts.

    • Well, thank you very much! That’s awfully nice of ya to say, I know, I shouldn’t listen to her but she has this strange power over me to believe the crappy stuff. And she rarely, if ever, says the good stuff. So, I should know better, right? Well, seems like I don’t!


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