Is it a race?

Picture I took up in the mountains

It’s kinda funny how once people found out I was in a relationship for an entire year how quickly the “when are you getting married?” questions got fired at me. What’s even funnier is that I was engaged about 2-3 days before our year anniversary. It almost feels like being in a relationship is looked at like a race, are you a slow starter, will you win in the end or end up losing?

I think that people want to define me, and for the longest time I couldn’t be defined because I hadn’t dated for about 2-3 years. I almost wonder if people feel more comfortable being able to categorize as something.

With me and the fiancée we fell head over heels for each other very quickly. Our relationship sped forward at a pace that I kept secret from most of my co-workers, but the few that I did talk to told me to cool my heels. They told me to play ‘the game’ and be more hard to get, and not tell him how I feel, because within about a month or two I knew I loved him. I’d even dare to say that I knew that I would fall in love with him the moment I saw him. Which, when I tend to think I might like a guy I respond in 2 ways:

  1.  Avoid them like the plague
  2. Talk to them, but try my best to push them away as best as I can

I ended up doing #2, and the first night we spent with each other I played hard to get and did the whole game. The second time I played the game, but after that I pretty much trusted how I felt and went after him. And so, I moved forward like a bullet and everyone told me to slow down with the whole race and maybe make a pit stop. But now it’s just the opposite, they are bugging me about moving in with him, and about speeding it up. Personally for me the pace of how things go is, of course, my decision. I prefer to decide to move in when he has to move out of the current place and then we can find something together and make our own ‘spaces.’ Right now everything is his, and I’d just like to make a space both mine and his.

I will fully admit it, I am kind of afraid to move in with someone. I am a pretty independent person and I tend to be that type of crazy person who absolutely hates their stuff to be messed with. I can sense my little polka dot piggy bank being moved a mere inch in a different direction, and any sort of change gets under my skin.

The fiancée wants to mix things up, and that has definitely caused me to go a little batty sometimes to come home to the couches being in a whole different direction and the TV facing the opposite way. My room has only changed with the organization of things, but the big structures, like my bed, have always stayed in the same spot. We’ll learn to work things out together and I’ve gotten better handling his changes and he’s promised to leave the room alone and keep it the same, so we’ll figure it out.

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2 Comments

  1. Lol your so funny. Don’t worry about it cause it will work itself out. You love the guy so you will make it work. So happy for u!

    Reply
    • I worry about the trivial stuff, I just can’t help it! I’m glad your happy for me, I’m definitely lucky to find myself ‘the one’ and he’s so good to me and good for me. Making it work is easier than getting me to not stress out about things.

      Reply

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