Nada, Zip, Zilch

I got my review, I didn’t get a raise, I guess I’m not productive enough, or something. I reached my retail number, well, far surpassed it but I need to do more. And, I’m always pushing myself to do more, and so I nodded, agreed, moved on, went home, and let it sink in. I’ve been pushing myself harder than I have with this job/career with my retail, and with other stuff too. To admit the truth, I was prepped for this. What with our hours being dramatically cut and all that, I kinda thought this would happen.

That doesn’t reduce the sting of it, or the feeling of pop and deflation with the realization that it wasn’t going to happen, I knew it wasn’t, yet I still held onto the hope that I might get something.

So, I tell myself now that I should just be happy to have a job, to power on, and push this down. I am more adamant then ever to not tell them about my engagement until much later. I don’t need the stress of my life being brought up or discovered by anyone. I love who I work with, my clients I get, and just tend to love this career. It’s not the most stable thing when it comes to hours, or figuring out how much each paycheck will be each period because each time it’s different. There can be a $100 or more difference depending on if I see less clients, or get sent home a lot.

I’m just out of it today, I just think I’m going to spend the whole day vegging. I got some stuff done, which is good, but now I’ve officially crashed and I don’t feel like getting myself back out of the rut I’ve fallen in.

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4 Comments

  1. tknologlvr

     /  February 24, 2011

    Being made to feel underappreciated sucks! Hang in there!

    Reply
  2. Aww dude. I got my eval too. It was half good half bad. Eh oh well

    Reply

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