Sarah, why are you all alone on Valentine’s Day? Aren’t you doing anything special today? That’s what some of the girls at work asked me today, which I laughed at and told them I was prepared to work a 9 hour day (obviously that didn’t happen) and so I had nothing in mind. The man and I have our cute little gifts for each other and he hid one in my suitcase without me knowing and it had instructions to open tonight. And, he gave me a card to open tonight too, plus we have other gifts besides that.

We were going to celebrate on Sunday but my mother had a mental breakdown so I had to drive early back to her place and drag her out of her bed since she was crying and just a mess. The man understood so our little V-day celebration was postponed, though I got a pretty necklace on Saturday night which I got to open.

My Valentine’s Day is wonderful because of the man, awful because of my mother. She has been amazingly cruel to me and this is because I haven’t given her the $5,000. I’m not going to. I hardly have enough money saved up and what I have saved up took years and years. So, she decided to do something extremely hurtful to me that she could only think of to do: she took away the few pieces I had from my grandmother. One of the rings is supposed to be for my brother, ‘supposed to’, there are a few others, but not much. I don’t want anything from my father’s family, but I never met my grandmother and she just went in my room and demanded to have it. So, whatever, she can melt it down and make money out of it. Which is what she said she was going to do.

So, I get in my car to get gas, call up the man, crying, call up my brother who basically tells me what I know. She is selfish, she does this stuff to us because she just wants to. She does this to me because she knows how she can affect me. I am disgusted. I take this over and over again, her calling me worthless, horrible, etc. all because I won’t give her what she wants. She always gets everything from me and my brother with her fits. I’m standing up for myself.

The poor man says how he wishes Valentine’s Day was better. It’s not horrible, I have a wonderful partner, future husband, who loves me and writes sweet notes and gets me beautiful jewelry for Valentine’s Day. I have someone who sticks through this with me and stands by my side even when I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to stand. I’m just sick of my mother and her games she plays, I know she has no place to go, she hates my father, he hates her, it is absolutely that misery loves company. They love to make each other miserable, and if she gets out of the marriage with him, there really is no place to go. The bankruptcy he has filed is affecting her and she’s going off the deep end. But, I’m not going with her.

I told my brother I don’t know how you can treat someone you love the way she treats me. How she calls me these horrible things, and says what an awful person I am because I won’t give her what she wants. In his words, she needs to grow up. It hurts me so much and I tell her this, and I am in the wrong every time, and she is always right and does nothing wrong. It is infuriating, she never takes responsibility for her actions and pretends she didn’t do anything wrong, when she did.

I have to learn to numb myself to it, but it’s easier said than done. I need to relearn to not have her stomp all over me, and to stand up for myself, and to do what I need to do to be my own person and to be happy.

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  1. Sometimes …. you need to distant yourself … completely. Only you can make that choice. However if someone only brings negative energy to someone trying to be only postive…. it will only do more harm than good.

    Stay strong girlie!

    • I don’t know how to do that with my mother, I’ve done that with my father, since he’s pretty toxic too, but with my mother I just seem to have this weak point. She’s like the achille’s heel I can’t get rid of. She’s definitely an extremely negative person and she isn’t going to change. Plus, she’s fucking childish and plays as dirty as one person can. I’ll try to stay strong, it’s so much easier to just give in, but I’m not gonna do it.

  2. tknologlvr

     /  February 15, 2011

    Role reversal here…she’s acting like the child and your are the adult. If you were to give her 5 grand, how long do you think it would be before she asked for more, especially going through bankruptcy? Be strong and remain strong. I agree with Mariana, you need to flee the situation for your own self-worth!

    • Yeah, exactly, I gave her money in the beginning and then she just demanded it from me with her vehicle registration, the infamous lap top, and now this. If I don’t give her what she wants she either has a hissy fit, or like this time, does something hurtful to me to try to get me to do what she wants. I’d like to flee it, but I don’t want to abandon her, yet I also don’t want to be treated the way she treats me. It just seems to be a vicious cycle that is near impossible to break. 😦


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