Way too early

I woke up way too early for my day off, for a class that was basically useless on selling retail for spa people. Our teacher was a close minded lady who basically listened to you if your opinion echoed her own, and if it didn’t, she’d make fun of you and mention you the entire time of the class. So, it was pretty frustrating and with what she told us there is nothing we can do to help out our numbers for retail in massage. And in the spa. That we didn’t already know.

Of course, I tried to listen with an open mind but it was a little tough with the teacher. One of the girls said she was an impulse, new thing buyer and that’s how she shops. The lady said she was weird, and strange, and basically brought her up at every single moment of when she talked. And it wasn’t cute, or funny, she really didn’t like us questioning anything, or gave us any tips to help with retail numbers.

And Christmas music is playing at my work. Way. too. early. Now, don’t judge me for getting Christmas gifts already, that’s how I work, but I can’t stand Christmas music.

I can’t stand Christmas.

But… I love giving gifts. I love doing nice little things for the few people I get gifts for. Every single Christmas I remember since I was a kid has been painful, to say the least, uncomfortable, and something I’ve dreaded since I was a kid. I’d beg not to go to my Dad’s family for Christmas since I was 5-6 years old, in recent years it’s gotten worse. Two years ago my mother had one of the biggest fights ever with my father, where he bought this woman gifts that he’d never buy my mom and she found out. On Christmas Day. She freaked out, me and my brother had several huge fights, we had another huge fight 3 years ago, Christmas, and it is just something I dread.

The stress, but mainly the fights, the screaming, how we don’t have any where to eat for Christmas. We end up over at McDonald’s, or just plain eat some popcorn at the movie theatre. My Mom said today it’s hard for her to celebrate Christmas since her mom is gone. That when I was a kid it was much better, but now not at all. We don’t have any family besides each other, and we tend to just rip out each other’s throats when it comes to the holidays. So, when some of the people get all excited with the music playing way too early, I just mumble to myself, ‘really? seriously? Christmas music? You have got to be kidding me!’ And then I get called scrooge for it. I’m not scrooge though, I got my mom something today, I have a bunch of stuff for the man, and have a little bit of some stuff for my brother.

I don’t know what to do about Thanksgiving. I don’t know what we are doing, it’s like Christmas, we just try to find some place that’s open on Thanksgiving and eat there. I keep on getting asked what I want to do, and I don’t know what to say. I’m happy to get stuff and buy things, and am looking forward to spoiling my brother and the man. My Mom doesn’t want anything for Christmas besides the coat I got her, but I think I might get some little things for my spa girls at work (I don’t expect anything in return, and don’t care, I love my estheticians and want to get them something nice) and some stuff for the man’s family. I’ll be spending Christmas Day with him and Christmas Eve I’ll be working at my work.

I feel bad that my brother will be alone on Christmas, but my mom is working both Christmas Eve and Christmas day and she has done that for lots of them, and this is one of those years she’s working. So, I figured why ask for Christmas Eve off? We aren’t doing anything together really, and I might as well go over to the man’s for Christmas. He just loves this time of years, it’s just so cute, it’s like he is a big kid. It helps me to put me in a better mood because he loves it so much and it makes him happy to celebrate it. And it makes me even more happy to celebrate it with him.

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  1. Oh no! Christmas music ALREADY?!!! We already have candies in the stores, but luckily not the music YET!

    No kidding you’re afraid of Christmas. Sounds horrible indeed. I hope you and your man will create your own tradition to make the whole season feel better for you 🙂

    That woman lecturing sounds nasty. I have taken part to classes like that, too, when they ask you to make questions, but when you do, they get all mad and irritated 😀 What’s the point!


    • I think they might stop the Christmas music, or at least I’m hoping so. I can’t deal with Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, they need to cut back on it til after Thanksgiving. Ugh.

      Yeah, this time of year is no fun for me, it’s just stressful in ways sometimes just unimanginable. We just need to make a new tradition, which won’t be easy, but overtime should take out the best taste of the holidays.

      I’m used to unreasonable teachers for maybe college, but this was a whole new thing with us having to sit in on her talking and not giving us anything to help us better ourselves with retail. I don’t get why some people are like that, being very close-minded, but I guess you gotta just try not to pay attention to them.

  2. Thats when you start making your own traditions. Make a happy holiday for you!

    • I agree totally, and I’m hoping to make a happy holiday by giving a lot to the ones I love. And, just plain trying to get in the groove of this whole ‘Christmas spirit’ thing.


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