The girl with marriage fears

Maybe it’s not that I don’t believe in marriage, though I must say I am rather jaded. It’s just I never thought of it, and have never even thought of keeping someone or having someone close enough to me to want to marry me. I was never a kid to plan it out, I never thought about the dress, or the flowers, the colors, where it would happen, how everything would have to be set up just so, the ring.

I don’t want a wedding.

I’d rather be eloped any time. Save the money for a nice little honeymoon and for stuff we’ll need to get as a married couple. I don’t have much or really any family. Or friends for that matter. I don’t want something huge, because it’s just not me. I am pretty low key, and just can’t see myself in a big style wedding, and luckily I don’t think the man minds that.

It’s funny with him and I. I knew when we first started dating that he wanted to marry me, and I wanted to be with him and could see myself giving away my trust to him and my heart. We just fell head over heels and the one girl I talked to at work said I was going too fast. But, I knew it was right, so right, it felt wonderful, and I was absolutely crazy about him. The first night I met the man I knew how I felt about him, and normally I’d avoid a guy who I liked. I tried to, but it ended up not working, and I tried to be mean to him too and he still went after me.  

I know he wants to marry me, I’m pretty sure. But, it’s a matter of when, and what his secret plan is.

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  1. I didn’t believe in marriage until I got got married 😀

    Also, I hated the idea of my wedding. Weddings are fun, if you’re not the bride. It’s far too stressful! We had a small wedding, only about 25 guests, something we could handle and afford 🙂


    • Well, that makes me feel a lot better, I thought that I was the only one especially since all the girls I work with have everything figured out and are like dying to get married.

      I totally agree, like that wedding I went to for my vacation was so much fun! But, I would be sooooo stressed out if I was the groom or the bride. Me and the man are too laid-back to have a big wedding, and I personally only have about 4-5 people who would go to it if it was a wedding, and he’d have like 200-300 people, so I’d just rather have our family there maybe and just elope the whole thing.

      Save the money for a nice little honeymoon. 😉

  2. Same here. Never gave much thought to marriage. Now that I am, I learned that marriage is a big deal. Its not just some way to live and be with a person everyday from now on. Its the intwinning of two different lives to make a new family work. Its very hard but people will tell you that. And thats something you will have to figure on your own. If you’re ready for marriage, your ready. If not, trust your gut.

    • This definitely makes me feel a lot better, I’m with a bunch of marriage/wedding/ring crazed women so I feel a lot out of place. Marriage is something where it changes you, and just like you said, it’s the joining of two different lives into one to make your own family out of it too. I know it’s hard, because I see how a marriage fails with my parents, what you can argue about, and that there will be ups and downs too. It’s definitely something that you have to follow your heart and know what you want.


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