Is that a knuckle or an elbow?

One of the things that puts me on edge when I massage, ever since massage school, is massaging other massage therapists. I know they’re judging me, I know when I get a massage from someone I never relax, or fall asleep, all I’m thinking about is the techniques they’re using, what body part they’re using to do said techniques, and if I can steal it from them and totally make it mine. I feel too tense to relax with massaging a massage therapist, but that’s for good reason.

Remember how I said back in school I was close to quitting once? It was because I massaged a massage therapist who worked at the student clinic. She. was. brutal. Let’s not forget that I had only been working with clients for 2 weeks and she was only my third client that I had. Everything went wrong, she wanted a heating pad and I didn’t know how to do that, I shocked her each and every time I went to drap her back, arm, or leg, and basically it was a mess.

It was even worse at the end of the massage. She wrote the most awful feedback, written in her own awful handwriting, that I have ever gotten. It basically told me I sucked, that I was nervous and couldn’t even drap right, that I didn’t massage her right, that I needed to do this and this, that basically I was a lost cause. I got on the train going back home and had read that feedback more than once, and I seriously wanted to cry. And most of all I didn’t want to deal with massage school anymore, because all I kept on getting was physically beaten up from giving massages and mentally beaten up by the negative feedback I had to read.

Ever since then I’ve had a complex about massaging other massage therapists. I try to put this aside when I do massage, but it certainly just has had me on edge. I just love, love getting massages from other therapists though personally. It’s a total guessing game of is that an elbow, or a knuckle, a thumb, what type of massage technique is that? Swedish, myofascial, deep tissue, ect. It’s just so amazing how we all may do a certain modality, may even graduate from the same school and the same class, but every technique we do is just absolutely and completely uniquely ours.

That’s why I never feel bad about stealing a neato technique I feel when I get massaged. When I try to do it myself it won’t be like what they did on me and they should know massage therapists tend to be copy cats whenever we find someone doing something we really like, we wanna imitate it.

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